Have belts been banned?

This was a letter sent in to a local newspaper and I find it funny enough to archive here.

"A small plea to Norwich's fashionable young men: we need more of you out on the streets in those trousers with the crotch worn half way to the knee.
Why?
Life for us adults is often worrying and/ or boring and we need as many laughs as we can get. You see, lads, when you walk in those trousers like toddlers with full nappies to those strolling behind you.
Honourable mention to an advanced practitioner seen recently whose gravity-defying waistband clung to the edge of his posterior with most of his underwear on show. A small wager was lost when the garment failed to fall in true slapstick tradition.
Then a chance conversation with a friend made me feel ashamed.
Did I not realise that the Health and Safety Executive has confiscated all belts from males under 21? This is to prevent dangerous wardrobe malfunctions. Belt lisences can be obtained from HSE subject to the applicant producing a valid NVQ Level 2 in common sense.
Being neither common nor sensible, I won't be permitted to enrol on this course myself and will have to be content with my advanced degree in mickey-taking from a disreputable university.
Sabbath Raven,
Barnards Yard, Norwich."

This bloke is a legend. Well said haha. I laughed so hard when I read this for the first time.