Today is Monday the 20th of December, 2010.
I'm currently sitting in my Aunt's study looking at the mess that surrounds me and I wonder how anyone could get any work done in here. It's funny how some people seem to thrive in mess and just stuff stuck everywhere... I mean, don't get me wrong, I could challenge you for the title of "most messiest"... I like a good floordrobe, me. But when it comes to actualk work and stuff, there's no way that I could get anything done in here.
As for work, well I haven't been doing much of that lately, much to my dishonour. I totally forgot, in the flurry of my birthday and Minna staying over and moving yaddah yaddah yaddah, that I was doing a beginners Italian course. *minor seizure/ heart attack* Fortunately, it's all good. I got onto it today, and I'm feeling good about it. I mean, I like this course. I enjoy it, I actually want to do it which is a MASSIVE improvement on the last one. It's going well and I couldn't be happier.
We have moved. Finally. It seems like it's been such a long, slow journey getting to this point. But, then again, it seems sudden and instant. We were talking of moving, new houses, looking at places for such a long time without ever really doing anything about it. And then, in no time at all, we'd found somewhere, looked at it, agreed to take it, signed all the paperwork, packed everything up and now... it's all in the new place. I can't believe how sudden it's been. I'm so glad that we finally moved out of that place, you wouldn't believe it. I miss nothing about 116 Norwich Road. But now the new begins.
Even thought there is still a lot to do with the new place, it still feels like it's mine. It's my room, my place, my new area. I have posters, pictures, cds and all sorts of random junk in it making it mine. I can't wait till I get some order into it. I just feel that for so long we've had to put up with so much; a kitchen that is falling apart, a boiler that is (probably) unsafe, damp issues, great coldness in winter... A generally poor house. Mum deserved a better place, and now she has it. If I had my way, I'd buy out this place and that way mum could do what she wanted to it. I'd pay for any and all modifications she wanted to make to it... But, unfortunately, a Saturday job at Roy's won't pay for that. C'est la vie. Life goeth on...
Life does indeed go on. Longer than expected sometimes. Life is delecate, there's no two ways about it. Hundreds of people die every day. But some are kept alive... The phrase that is so often used "all the good ones are taken early" is so often innacurate. This was highlighted to me Sunday morning at Church.
Thelma Edwards is a wonderful lady. She's going to be 80 on Boxing day. She's been about for as long as I can remember, but not in the way she is now. When I first started going to our church she was up and about all over the place, driving around in her blue Clio. Now she's driven about by her daughter. She walks with a wheely support thing. Then, last year, she was diagnosed with cancer... You would have thought she had suffered enough.
But still she's here. Miracles don't often happen, but one certainly happened to her. She's totally cancer free. Nothing there. Think it's coincidence? Good luck? Psh.
David Welham, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year. It spread to his bones.
He's still here. He's just the same as he's always been. You wouldn't be able to tell that he'd had cancer. Fit as the proverbial fiddle.
God is awesome. He's always been the great healer. Still is.
I know that they're still here because of God's help. He's still all powerful, no one can change that. He's still the God that made me and not only that, he's the God that keeps me going. I am nothing without him. Just a bag of meat and bones that would never meet it's full potential. I'm still not sure I ever will. But I've got way more of a chance now than I would without him.
Goodnight, bless your face, peace off, trademarktobyturner.
Monday 20 December 2010
Empty
That one word has an awful lot of inherrant sadness attached to it. Empty... I guess you could say that it's a sad word. It brings to mind ideas of something hollow, missing a part, a piece. Missing something to make it complete.
That's kinda how I feel right now. I have no consistent internet access. Certainly nothing with which I can skype... I haven't seen Gemma in the flesh since the 12th. I haven't skyped with her for goodness knows how long, probably a similar amount of time.
I really really miss her. I miss not spending time randomly chatting about nothing in particular each evening. I miss seeing her face, even if I can't touch it... or kiss it. I miss her.
Two weeks till the phone etc gets transferred over. Two weeks seems like an age. >_< I want it to be now, I want to see her... I hate this distance, even thiough it's not that great a distance. But that almost makes it worse. I know she's only a 30-40 minute train journey away. The feeling of her being just out of reach is so frustrating. I totally can't wait for Wednesday, I just hope the trains aren't delayed or whatever... If they are, that's it. No Ipswich. No Gemma. I don't get to see her, I don't get to hold her, I don't get to kiss her.
The trains had better be running.
That's kinda how I feel right now. I have no consistent internet access. Certainly nothing with which I can skype... I haven't seen Gemma in the flesh since the 12th. I haven't skyped with her for goodness knows how long, probably a similar amount of time.
I really really miss her. I miss not spending time randomly chatting about nothing in particular each evening. I miss seeing her face, even if I can't touch it... or kiss it. I miss her.
Two weeks till the phone etc gets transferred over. Two weeks seems like an age. >_< I want it to be now, I want to see her... I hate this distance, even thiough it's not that great a distance. But that almost makes it worse. I know she's only a 30-40 minute train journey away. The feeling of her being just out of reach is so frustrating. I totally can't wait for Wednesday, I just hope the trains aren't delayed or whatever... If they are, that's it. No Ipswich. No Gemma. I don't get to see her, I don't get to hold her, I don't get to kiss her.
The trains had better be running.
*
Empty...
Friday 17 December 2010
The Emperor's New Room
I am terrible with this whole blogging thing... I can't keep it up, I don't know why.
I find it difficult to think of things to say. Maybe I worry about whether or not people want to read it. Hell, I doubt anyone will read this so I don't know why I worry so much. I should just blog about any old nonsense that's going on. I mean, it's not like nothing ever goes on in my life (although some could debate that the previous statement is incorrect) but I just... dunno what to blog about.
I guess Imma just ramble...
So, we're moving! Scratch that; we've (technically, kinda) moved! As of the 13th of December, our official abode is not the one we have been living in for the past 9/10 years. I can honestly say I will not miss this room at all. Not in the slightest. My new room's bigger, brighter, warmer... I love it. And today it's started to feel more like my room than simply a room. The majority of my stuff is now at the new house and earlier I started putting up some of the minor personalisations. My new Muse door poster went on the inside of my door with the Toy Story 3 cards Gemma sent me, and I put some tickets round the fireplace. Dunno if they'll stay there... But, anyway, I can't wait to get properly, fully moved in. My room's walls are currently a lovely shade of very, extremely pale pink... In fact, all the walls of the house are painted in the same shade. Mum and Abi can live with it, but me? Hng, no thanks. My room will be the first to be re-decorated. Green, I think... I can't wait till it's done so I can get all my stuff on the walls. Posters, pictures, my Yoda canvas (even though that's already hanging...)
It's funny, I won't miss this room in the slightest, nor this house for that matter... You would think that, as the house that I did most of my growing up in, I'd miss it at least a little. You would think that I'd feel somewhat sentimental because, lets face it, I am a sentimental man. I get attached to things and people and places. But this house... I feel nothing but relief to be leaving it. It has innumerable problems; large brown patch on the living room ceiling where it fell down and was patched up, kitchen is crap, terrible central heating, ancient boiler, damp issues... The list goes on. I will be glad when the final things have been emptied from the house and we are firmly settled into our new one. This house is already feeling less and less like home. It certainly doesn't look like it any more...
I find it difficult to think of things to say. Maybe I worry about whether or not people want to read it. Hell, I doubt anyone will read this so I don't know why I worry so much. I should just blog about any old nonsense that's going on. I mean, it's not like nothing ever goes on in my life (although some could debate that the previous statement is incorrect) but I just... dunno what to blog about.
I guess Imma just ramble...
*
So, we're moving! Scratch that; we've (technically, kinda) moved! As of the 13th of December, our official abode is not the one we have been living in for the past 9/10 years. I can honestly say I will not miss this room at all. Not in the slightest. My new room's bigger, brighter, warmer... I love it. And today it's started to feel more like my room than simply a room. The majority of my stuff is now at the new house and earlier I started putting up some of the minor personalisations. My new Muse door poster went on the inside of my door with the Toy Story 3 cards Gemma sent me, and I put some tickets round the fireplace. Dunno if they'll stay there... But, anyway, I can't wait to get properly, fully moved in. My room's walls are currently a lovely shade of very, extremely pale pink... In fact, all the walls of the house are painted in the same shade. Mum and Abi can live with it, but me? Hng, no thanks. My room will be the first to be re-decorated. Green, I think... I can't wait till it's done so I can get all my stuff on the walls. Posters, pictures, my Yoda canvas (even though that's already hanging...)It's funny, I won't miss this room in the slightest, nor this house for that matter... You would think that, as the house that I did most of my growing up in, I'd miss it at least a little. You would think that I'd feel somewhat sentimental because, lets face it, I am a sentimental man. I get attached to things and people and places. But this house... I feel nothing but relief to be leaving it. It has innumerable problems; large brown patch on the living room ceiling where it fell down and was patched up, kitchen is crap, terrible central heating, ancient boiler, damp issues... The list goes on. I will be glad when the final things have been emptied from the house and we are firmly settled into our new one. This house is already feeling less and less like home. It certainly doesn't look like it any more...
*
Moving on; I miss people. I spent all of my birthday weekend with Minna and I spent all of the 11th and 12th with Gemma: I miss them both terribly. I know that I'm gonna see Gemma soon so that's not so bad, but I still miss her like nobody's business. And it was hard saying goodbye to them both, Gemma in the station and Minna in the airport. Although saying bye to Gemma was kinda cool; we got spotted by my cousin and her boyfriend. :P But saying bye to Minna was a little pants. She said she didn't want to go, I would have liked her to stay longer... I miss her a lot. Ah well, I have even more reason to go see her in Sweden now that she's been here to my place. And I can't wait till the 22nd; I get to go to Ipswich and see Gemma. Granted, it's with Abi and we're going to the Wolsey Panto. But it'll be so good to see her again, even if I'll have to behave a little better with my sister around. :P No neck biting I think... Even better, I think we may be going to see TRON: Legacy! I can't wait.
Well, that's it. I'm off. Ciao all.
Moving on; I miss people. I spent all of my birthday weekend with Minna and I spent all of the 11th and 12th with Gemma: I miss them both terribly. I know that I'm gonna see Gemma soon so that's not so bad, but I still miss her like nobody's business. And it was hard saying goodbye to them both, Gemma in the station and Minna in the airport. Although saying bye to Gemma was kinda cool; we got spotted by my cousin and her boyfriend. :P But saying bye to Minna was a little pants. She said she didn't want to go, I would have liked her to stay longer... I miss her a lot. Ah well, I have even more reason to go see her in Sweden now that she's been here to my place. And I can't wait till the 22nd; I get to go to Ipswich and see Gemma. Granted, it's with Abi and we're going to the Wolsey Panto. But it'll be so good to see her again, even if I'll have to behave a little better with my sister around. :P No neck biting I think... Even better, I think we may be going to see TRON: Legacy! I can't wait.
Well, that's it. I'm off. Ciao all.
Monday 6 December 2010
Red Jaguar and green rug
This is up there. One of my most desirable basses...
A hot rod red Fender Jaguar bass. They're so beautifully unique looking and they have such a broad tonal quality...
Epiphone "Les Paul" Special Edition
I've slightly fallen in love with this bass. This, along with a semi-hollow; something like an Epiphone Jack Casady, is what I'm aiming for.
I've developed a bit of a thing for black basses...
I've got the bug... Bass acquisition syndrome. I will buy an Epi Les Paul special and call it Charlotte. Yes.
Friday 26 November 2010
Italiano per favore.
Okay, so I had to write a post on my private university blog about me and one of my friends/ members of my family. But I had to do it in italian.
It's not like anyone can plagiarise it; it's info about me, so I decided to throw it up on here too. See if you can work out the stuff I'm talking about. :P
Ciao e buonasera.
Tuesday 23 November 2010
Changes
"Something has changed within me. Something is not the same."
Yesterday I discovered somthing that made me feel like I was back in the middle of my old Open Uni course. You know the one I slacked off a bit too much? The one I failed miserably? The one that caused me unutterable stress, to the point I wanted to try self-harming, just to see if it helped? Yeah, you know the one. Anyway, I discovered that I have an assignment due on the 1st of December and I was totally unprepared. For a moment I felt a knot rip into my stomach and doubt pile into my mind. "No... I don't want to feel like this again... But I'm so sure now that I'll fail..."
I spent 4 hours at work and all I could think of was how I had an assignment due soon and how I was totally unprepared. I could feel mild panic setting in. But then something snapped, but in a good way; I'm pretty sure I felt my brows knot. "I. Will. Not. Fail." I said firmly to myself. "I refuse to fail these courses."
And I believe it.
I believe in myself.
Something has changed, or more accurately, someone has changed me. I was always one for giving up, quitting as soon as something didn't come very easily to me. But I feel that part of me has gone; replaced by courage and self-belief and self confience. And it's all down to one, solitary person. You know who you are.
I will pass these courses. I will. I know I will.
Yesterday I discovered somthing that made me feel like I was back in the middle of my old Open Uni course. You know the one I slacked off a bit too much? The one I failed miserably? The one that caused me unutterable stress, to the point I wanted to try self-harming, just to see if it helped? Yeah, you know the one. Anyway, I discovered that I have an assignment due on the 1st of December and I was totally unprepared. For a moment I felt a knot rip into my stomach and doubt pile into my mind. "No... I don't want to feel like this again... But I'm so sure now that I'll fail..."
I spent 4 hours at work and all I could think of was how I had an assignment due soon and how I was totally unprepared. I could feel mild panic setting in. But then something snapped, but in a good way; I'm pretty sure I felt my brows knot. "I. Will. Not. Fail." I said firmly to myself. "I refuse to fail these courses."
And I believe it.
I believe in myself.
Something has changed, or more accurately, someone has changed me. I was always one for giving up, quitting as soon as something didn't come very easily to me. But I feel that part of me has gone; replaced by courage and self-belief and self confience. And it's all down to one, solitary person. You know who you are.
I will pass these courses. I will. I know I will.
Sunday 21 November 2010
Life, love and randomness.
I am setting out with no purpose in writing this blog post. It could be long, it could be short, there's nothing that I have any specific reason to set out. I have no aim nor point to get across in this post. It will be purely rambling.
Today is Sunday the 21st of November 2010. I'm currently sitting in the back room of my grandparent's house awaiting the call through for dinner. Today has, so far, been a good day; I enjoyed church this morning. It was... a blessing to me. Sunday mornings used to be my least favourite part of my week but now they're my favourite part. As I get older, the Sunday morning service becomes more... important to me. More enjoyable. It becomes more and more like a place I actually want to be, not just a place I go because my mum takes me there. It sets up my week.
I'm currently listening to "As long as you're mine" from the Wicked musical soundtrack. It's on a mix CD that my girlfriend made for me. I don't think she realises how special the two cd's she made for me are. Music is the language that I understand. Sometimes I struggle with words, although I normally am fairly eloquent, and music speaks when I cannot. There's a quote by a French poet, Victor Hugo, that is one of my favourites; "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." It says exactly what I feel when it comes to music. Songs stir and move me and they don't even need to have lyrics. Pieces of instrumental music can have as much pertinence as a song with deep and moving lyrics. Music is the medium to express every emotion, every word that we lack the skill to express ourselves or lack the ability to express in everyday language.
I love my girlfriend. Bloody hell, I love her so much, sometimes I don't even know how to sufficiently express it in words. I adore her with every fibre of my being. She means the world and more to me. Altering something we say to each other sometimes; "La amo sua fino alla luna e ritorno". It means "I love her to the moon and back." That's about right; I love her to the most distant star in the most distant galaxy. She means everything to me. don't feel like it.
And, the thing is, that's how I want it to be. I've always said that I will grow old but I will never grow up. I won't sit down and I won't shut up, but most of all I will not grow up.
I'm looking forward to my birthday. I get to spend the 11th and the 12th with my girlfriend AND Minna. I was rather excited, to say the least, when my mum told me that Minna was coming over for my birthday. Then she said the Gemma could stay on the 11th for the 12th... Oh man, it will be beyond awesome. We're going out for a meal on the evening of the 11th, all 5 of us. Ugh, I just can't wait. I was so angry with my mum the last time Gemma stayed over; she was totally unwelcoming. Maybe this is my actually trying... Including Gem, trying to make her feel like part of the family. I really hope it is.
I've found myself in a very Doctor Who geek mode mood for quite a while now. I bought series 2 a week or so ago and Gem bought me series 1 for no apparent reason the other day and so I'm like DUN DUHDUN DUN DUHDUN DUN DUHDUN DUN DUN DUN all the time pretty much... I really want series 3, 4 and 5 now! We had a dress up day at work for Children in Need and I went as batman, however I was gonna go as the Doctor... But I couldn't get the neccessary kit together, besides the sonic screwdriver. I want to cosplay as 10 at some point. If I went to a convention of geekery, I would blatantly get a navy suit, maroon connies and some brainy specs. BAM, instant 10. Although that would mean shaving off the goatee... Hmmm, is it worth it? I'm unsure...
Anyway, I think I've rambled on enough now. Imma stop here.
Today is Sunday the 21st of November 2010. I'm currently sitting in the back room of my grandparent's house awaiting the call through for dinner. Today has, so far, been a good day; I enjoyed church this morning. It was... a blessing to me. Sunday mornings used to be my least favourite part of my week but now they're my favourite part. As I get older, the Sunday morning service becomes more... important to me. More enjoyable. It becomes more and more like a place I actually want to be, not just a place I go because my mum takes me there. It sets up my week.
I'm currently listening to "As long as you're mine" from the Wicked musical soundtrack. It's on a mix CD that my girlfriend made for me. I don't think she realises how special the two cd's she made for me are. Music is the language that I understand. Sometimes I struggle with words, although I normally am fairly eloquent, and music speaks when I cannot. There's a quote by a French poet, Victor Hugo, that is one of my favourites; "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent." It says exactly what I feel when it comes to music. Songs stir and move me and they don't even need to have lyrics. Pieces of instrumental music can have as much pertinence as a song with deep and moving lyrics. Music is the medium to express every emotion, every word that we lack the skill to express ourselves or lack the ability to express in everyday language.
I love my girlfriend. Bloody hell, I love her so much, sometimes I don't even know how to sufficiently express it in words. I adore her with every fibre of my being. She means the world and more to me. Altering something we say to each other sometimes; "La amo sua fino alla luna e ritorno". It means "I love her to the moon and back." That's about right; I love her to the most distant star in the most distant galaxy. She means everything to me. don't feel like it.
And, the thing is, that's how I want it to be. I've always said that I will grow old but I will never grow up. I won't sit down and I won't shut up, but most of all I will not grow up.
I'm looking forward to my birthday. I get to spend the 11th and the 12th with my girlfriend AND Minna. I was rather excited, to say the least, when my mum told me that Minna was coming over for my birthday. Then she said the Gemma could stay on the 11th for the 12th... Oh man, it will be beyond awesome. We're going out for a meal on the evening of the 11th, all 5 of us. Ugh, I just can't wait. I was so angry with my mum the last time Gemma stayed over; she was totally unwelcoming. Maybe this is my actually trying... Including Gem, trying to make her feel like part of the family. I really hope it is.
I've found myself in a very Doctor Who geek mode mood for quite a while now. I bought series 2 a week or so ago and Gem bought me series 1 for no apparent reason the other day and so I'm like DUN DUHDUN DUN DUHDUN DUN DUHDUN DUN DUN DUN all the time pretty much... I really want series 3, 4 and 5 now! We had a dress up day at work for Children in Need and I went as batman, however I was gonna go as the Doctor... But I couldn't get the neccessary kit together, besides the sonic screwdriver. I want to cosplay as 10 at some point. If I went to a convention of geekery, I would blatantly get a navy suit, maroon connies and some brainy specs. BAM, instant 10. Although that would mean shaving off the goatee... Hmmm, is it worth it? I'm unsure...
Anyway, I think I've rambled on enough now. Imma stop here.
Wednesday 6 October 2010
Dear Mum
"You've probably guessed something's going on by now (and if you haven't then my opinion of your powers of deduction has just dropped massively) but Gemma and I are... Together. A couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Whatever you want to call us, that is what we are. Gemma is amazing; we are so similar and pretty much every day when we talk she says something or something happens that makes me believe even more firmly that what we have is right. I know we're from different family/ church backgrounds but so what. I love her, she loves me, we both love the Lord and his awesome son Jesus. We work together so well, being with Gemma is so easy, comfortable and... happy. Utterly utterly happy. And I want you to be happy about this. I want to be able to have Gemma over without it being uncomfortable and for it to all to fine and all that jazz. I want your approval. But I don't need it. Gemma is amazing; she's lovely, kind, caring, self-deprecating, selfless, she has a heart the size of a small country, weird, crazy, hilarious, serious and childish, incredibly insightful, and beautiful. I'm telling you about this because it's wrong to keep it a secret, because hiding what Gemma and I have is a stupid thing to do, not because I want your permission.
If you disapprove, if you say I shouldn't be with her, too bad. I'll fight to stay with her; I'll fight you and anyone else."
Now if only I could find the balls to say this to you. Stupid head; why do you always think in terms of the worst case scenario. She'll probably be fine with it: she likes Gemma. So why is there this knot in my stomach that contorts itself into an un-ignorably tight wad whenever I say to myself "Now. Tell her now," that stops me from doing it. I hate it. I wish I could walk up to mum, look her in the eye and say "Mum. Gemma and I are together, boyfriend and girlfriend, a couple. Problem?" I idolise my mum; I have so much respect for her. Too much respect. I hate this feeling of wanting to tell the most influential person in my life this massive and bloody amazing turn of events. How this person snuck into my life and, whilst I was unawares, made her way into my heart. I wasn't particularly looking for her, but I found her nonetheless. I am 100% dead sure that I am totally in love and I am dying to be able to shout it out and make the world known, but I can't until you know. So what in the blue blazes is stopping me from telling you...?
Friday 24 September 2010
Master Grade 1:100 Wing Gundam
Engage geek mode...
Clicky clicky for pictures...
Finally! The first Gundam I bought all those years ago when Gundam was shown on Toonami and was cool and popular now has a pwoper awesome master grade!
The first Wing Gundam I ever had was 1:144 scale, the colours were nothing like the real thing... before and after I tried to paint it. It fell apart after a while due to the many many times I transformed it. It was... It was pretty bad, I'm not gonna lie.
This, however... Oh man, this is amazing. The build was great; there was no point at which I thought, "Ok... getting booored noooow..." It was a lot of fun putting this guy together. I was also very impressed at the complexity of the build; it was on a par with my Unicorn and, I won't lie, it was a lot more interesting to build and a lot less of a pain. There were no annoying bits that didn't like to stay and kept popping off unless coerced gently but firmly to click into place...
The colours are nice and vibrant and pretty anime accurate too; you've got the standard bright red, a nice dark navy blue, a bright yellow with a hint of orange and a nice clean white. It's got a really nice lean, slender feel to the mould without suffering any weakness. It's a good, strong, sturdy model that has no trouble holding pretty much any pose. It's uber posable; the articulation on this bad boy is fantastic. With an action base you could pull off some seriously impressive poses. And I really like the wings; they have such a wide range of positions, it's great for aerial poses. The joint strength of this kit is brilliant, something that really impressed me; combining the low weight of the limbs with good joint strenght leads me to believe that everything's going to stay nice and solid for quite some time. There are really only two slight niggles; the arms like to pop off at the shoulders if you play about with them too much, but that's forgivable. The shoulders are also brilliantly articulated as you're able to pop them forward and bring the arm right out and accross the front. Also, the wrists are a little loose and wobbly, but that's nothing major; that could be corrected with a smudge of super glue over the ball joint.
The Wing Gundam has a fairly large rifle and you might think that, with slightly loose wrists, it would have issues there. However, the yellow claws on the arms incorporate a lovely little design feature: they clip onto the back of the rifle, keeping it locked and steady. Without them there would be rifle drooping issues...
It also comes with the mandatory beam sabre and
I didn't do anything major to this kit. I did some panel lining, but there wasn't a lot of grooves to ink which is always a positive. The original Gundam Wing series kits were covered in grooves, lines and the kits look pretty intense when inked. This is much better. For decals I used a few of the dry rub transfers on the wings, but I used mainly the clear stickers; some from the sheet for this kit and some gleaned from leftover sticker sheets from other models.
The final feature of this kit is the transformation into Neo-Bird mode. It's a nice transformation, although it does cause some slight problems. You have to rotate the waist 360 degrees and that tends to cause the side front and back skirts to pop off which can be a bit of a pain. But, once everything's changed around and the transformation's finished it holds very well; nothing flops about or wobbles which is great. It looks great, holds together really well. It's a generally brilliant mobile armour mode; puts a lot of Gundam's mobile armour modes to shame.
Overall, this is an awesome kit and I have nothing at all to complain about. It looks fantastic; it's a little more slender than it would have been in the anime, but that's in no way a negative point. There were practically no loose parts that needed gluing. In fact the only piece I glued was the v-fin/ forehead jewel. I'm so glad that we're finally getting some Gundam Wing master grades. The Wing Gundam, then the Deathscythe Ver Ka. (even though they're calling it the Endless Waltz version... ¬_¬). Hopefully we'll get a Shenlong master grade soon... And I really don't mind if it's the ver ka.
End geek mode.
Clicky clicky for pictures...
Finally! The first Gundam I bought all those years ago when Gundam was shown on Toonami and was cool and popular now has a pwoper awesome master grade!
The first Wing Gundam I ever had was 1:144 scale, the colours were nothing like the real thing... before and after I tried to paint it. It fell apart after a while due to the many many times I transformed it. It was... It was pretty bad, I'm not gonna lie.
This, however... Oh man, this is amazing. The build was great; there was no point at which I thought, "Ok... getting booored noooow..." It was a lot of fun putting this guy together. I was also very impressed at the complexity of the build; it was on a par with my Unicorn and, I won't lie, it was a lot more interesting to build and a lot less of a pain. There were no annoying bits that didn't like to stay and kept popping off unless coerced gently but firmly to click into place...
The colours are nice and vibrant and pretty anime accurate too; you've got the standard bright red, a nice dark navy blue, a bright yellow with a hint of orange and a nice clean white. It's got a really nice lean, slender feel to the mould without suffering any weakness. It's a good, strong, sturdy model that has no trouble holding pretty much any pose. It's uber posable; the articulation on this bad boy is fantastic. With an action base you could pull off some seriously impressive poses. And I really like the wings; they have such a wide range of positions, it's great for aerial poses. The joint strength of this kit is brilliant, something that really impressed me; combining the low weight of the limbs with good joint strenght leads me to believe that everything's going to stay nice and solid for quite some time. There are really only two slight niggles; the arms like to pop off at the shoulders if you play about with them too much, but that's forgivable. The shoulders are also brilliantly articulated as you're able to pop them forward and bring the arm right out and accross the front. Also, the wrists are a little loose and wobbly, but that's nothing major; that could be corrected with a smudge of super glue over the ball joint.
The Wing Gundam has a fairly large rifle and you might think that, with slightly loose wrists, it would have issues there. However, the yellow claws on the arms incorporate a lovely little design feature: they clip onto the back of the rifle, keeping it locked and steady. Without them there would be rifle drooping issues...
It also comes with the mandatory beam sabre and
I didn't do anything major to this kit. I did some panel lining, but there wasn't a lot of grooves to ink which is always a positive. The original Gundam Wing series kits were covered in grooves, lines and the kits look pretty intense when inked. This is much better. For decals I used a few of the dry rub transfers on the wings, but I used mainly the clear stickers; some from the sheet for this kit and some gleaned from leftover sticker sheets from other models.
The final feature of this kit is the transformation into Neo-Bird mode. It's a nice transformation, although it does cause some slight problems. You have to rotate the waist 360 degrees and that tends to cause the side front and back skirts to pop off which can be a bit of a pain. But, once everything's changed around and the transformation's finished it holds very well; nothing flops about or wobbles which is great. It looks great, holds together really well. It's a generally brilliant mobile armour mode; puts a lot of Gundam's mobile armour modes to shame.
Overall, this is an awesome kit and I have nothing at all to complain about. It looks fantastic; it's a little more slender than it would have been in the anime, but that's in no way a negative point. There were practically no loose parts that needed gluing. In fact the only piece I glued was the v-fin/ forehead jewel. I'm so glad that we're finally getting some Gundam Wing master grades. The Wing Gundam, then the Deathscythe Ver Ka. (even though they're calling it the Endless Waltz version... ¬_¬). Hopefully we'll get a Shenlong master grade soon... And I really don't mind if it's the ver ka.
End geek mode.
Wednesday 22 September 2010
Sword Impulse Gundam
I'm loving having my flickr linked to my blog. :P
I need this guy. It pretty much sums up my favourite type of gundam style; Gundams with unusual weapons. It has no guns, no rifles or anything. Just two, massive swords. Yes please.
Monday 20 September 2010
Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn
I love this mobile suit. The design of it is just pure brilliance, and the way the photo's set up is really nice. It's clean, sharp.
Yeah, total Gundam geek here...
Saturday 18 September 2010
I just wish you'd talk to me.
Sometimes I feel so isolated from you and at other times I feel like you're my best friend. You're my little sister and I care about you. Okay, I know I may not show it very well but that's because I'm your brother. I'm a guy and we suck at that kind of stuff. But I just wish that you'd talk to me. I feel like I don't know you, like you're living a life in a totally different time zone and city to me. You never tell me anything but I still hear whispers. Minor things you mention, little things you let slip. Sometimes they annoy me, sometimes they frustrate me... Sometimes they worry and scare me. I just wish you felt like you could come and tell me. I love you so much because you're my little sister; I only want the absolute best for you in your life. But I feel so distant from you sometimes and I hate it when you make me and mum the bad guys. We don't want to stop you from having a good time and seeing your friends and blah blah blah. And it really hurts when you say I've changed and that I'm no fun and that I'm boring and that I hate having fun. It really does. I just don't like mindless stupidity.
Meh, this is turning into a rant and that's not what I wanted to do...
Meh, this is turning into a rant and that's not what I wanted to do...
Monday 6 September 2010
Wednesday 1 September 2010
Purpose. Grace.
I constantly have trouble with myself. I feel like I'm currently going nowhere and that I will always be going nowhere. I have no self belief and hardly any self confidence. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to believe that I'm going places; that I'm destined for bigger things. However, sometimes the only thing that I truly believe is that I'm going to be stuck at Roys for the rest of my life, moving up until I'm the head of fashions, spending all my time and money out side of Roys on my Gundams and living my life as a reclusive, awkward, lonely uber-geek at the end of which I would die old, cold and alone...
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't feel like that all the time. There are people in my life that make me believe that one day I might actually find someone. That I am mildly attractive and not a hopelessly ugly troll. That all my idiosincracies and my weirdness are good things. That I'm not a useless speck on this planet that will never have any impact on anything worthwhile... They're so good to me and I love them so much.
One of these people told me something and I know she has no idea what it did for me and to me. She told me "if it wasn't for you I'd be on antidepressants and I'd be playing with blades."
I know you'll read this and all I can say is thank you. Thank you for reminding me that I have a point; that I can make a difference. <3
Yesterday I was having a rant to mum. I ranted about everything; how I feel lost and alone, how I feel like there's nothing going on in my life nor will there ever be. I was hurting... a lot. I felt useless and hopeless and completely and utterly insignificant. What is my purpose? What is the point to me?
And then I remembered. Love is my point. I'm not good at much. But one thing I'm good at is love. One thing I can do is take the grace God has shown to me and turn it on other people. I care too much and I love too deeply, but that's not a bad thing.
I have a theory, well... not really a theory. A picture, an allegory, a metaphor. I believe that our souls, the things that make us us are made up of billions of tiny little pieces. When we become close to someone, whether it's through friendship or through being in a relationship, the peices can transfer. A peice of you can switch for a peice of the other person. You rub off on other people...
There's a quote by Chuck Palahnuick that I love; "Nothing of me is original, I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known." And that is exactly how I feel. When we rub up against people in life we leave parts of ourselves, of who we are on them. It can help turn them into a better person or it can bring them down. You just have to make sure that what you leave behind is good.
That's all for now...
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't feel like that all the time. There are people in my life that make me believe that one day I might actually find someone. That I am mildly attractive and not a hopelessly ugly troll. That all my idiosincracies and my weirdness are good things. That I'm not a useless speck on this planet that will never have any impact on anything worthwhile... They're so good to me and I love them so much.
One of these people told me something and I know she has no idea what it did for me and to me. She told me "if it wasn't for you I'd be on antidepressants and I'd be playing with blades."
I know you'll read this and all I can say is thank you. Thank you for reminding me that I have a point; that I can make a difference. <3
Yesterday I was having a rant to mum. I ranted about everything; how I feel lost and alone, how I feel like there's nothing going on in my life nor will there ever be. I was hurting... a lot. I felt useless and hopeless and completely and utterly insignificant. What is my purpose? What is the point to me?
And then I remembered. Love is my point. I'm not good at much. But one thing I'm good at is love. One thing I can do is take the grace God has shown to me and turn it on other people. I care too much and I love too deeply, but that's not a bad thing.
I have a theory, well... not really a theory. A picture, an allegory, a metaphor. I believe that our souls, the things that make us us are made up of billions of tiny little pieces. When we become close to someone, whether it's through friendship or through being in a relationship, the peices can transfer. A peice of you can switch for a peice of the other person. You rub off on other people...
There's a quote by Chuck Palahnuick that I love; "Nothing of me is original, I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known." And that is exactly how I feel. When we rub up against people in life we leave parts of ourselves, of who we are on them. It can help turn them into a better person or it can bring them down. You just have to make sure that what you leave behind is good.
That's all for now...
Monday 30 August 2010
Thoughts
All of these thoughts and ideas race round my head. They disturb me and shock me and irritate me and hurt me. I'm a mess; a mixed up, stupid, angry, sad, overjoyed, ridiculous kid inside a 20 year olds body. I'm lost with no idea of what to do and what to say. I want to say things to people, I want to tell them how I feel but I can't. I'm afraid of the consequences. I'm afraid of the changes, the results. I'm afraid of myself.
I always hurt those people I care for most. I'm dangerous, I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people; I always end up causing them pain. Always. I hate being me... I'm not useful. I try and help, but I can't. And I'm too nice. I shouldn't be so nice, it only hurts people. I should be more of a douche; more mean, nasty. Maybe I'll do that; become meaner. That way people won't want to get to know me. They won't like me. They won't start to like me too much and I won't hurt them. I won't care about people, I won't ask how they are, I won't tell them I love them, I won't do things for them. Because that way, no one would want to be around me and then the only person I could hurt is myself.
I would so love to be able to do that. But I can't.
I care too much. I care too much about everyone. I give a shit whether or not they're having a good or a bad day. I couldn't become that person because I'd hate every day of my life more and more until I would do the world a favour and jump off a bridge.
I wish I didn't care.
But I do.
I can't change it. There are parts of me I can change... That is not one of them.
I hate it and I love it so much at the same time.
My head is such a mess.
I always hurt those people I care for most. I'm dangerous, I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people; I always end up causing them pain. Always. I hate being me... I'm not useful. I try and help, but I can't. And I'm too nice. I shouldn't be so nice, it only hurts people. I should be more of a douche; more mean, nasty. Maybe I'll do that; become meaner. That way people won't want to get to know me. They won't like me. They won't start to like me too much and I won't hurt them. I won't care about people, I won't ask how they are, I won't tell them I love them, I won't do things for them. Because that way, no one would want to be around me and then the only person I could hurt is myself.
I would so love to be able to do that. But I can't.
I care too much. I care too much about everyone. I give a shit whether or not they're having a good or a bad day. I couldn't become that person because I'd hate every day of my life more and more until I would do the world a favour and jump off a bridge.
I wish I didn't care.
But I do.
I can't change it. There are parts of me I can change... That is not one of them.
I hate it and I love it so much at the same time.
My head is such a mess.
Sunday 22 August 2010
Weekend
Yesterday was Saturday; a mystical day in which the majority of "normal people" chill out, relax, socialise, have fun and do general cool stuff. However, me being a weirdo, the norm is work: boring, uninspiring and dull work.
But yesterday... I ESCAPED! Okay, so it wasn't mainly to do anything fun; I went up to the YPBC camp site on the Friday and stayed over to help take down and pack up. However, it didn't take that long; we were gone by about 11 o'clock which was a relief to everyone. We had a great number of people there and everything went brilliantly well. Couldn't have hoped for a better day, weather-wise, either. It was beautiful - warm, sunny, nice breeze. I even managed to get a little bit of tannage going on (my neck is now rather toasted).
However, it was a little sad standing at the top of the camp site looking down towards the sea with wind gusting at my back. It was empty; the cookhouse was gone, the tents were gone, all the orange fencing was gone... I did get a little emotional, I must admit. I guess it's because it's been the best year I've had at camp so far. It was simply a week of legendary proportions. I even miss the weeks I didn't go to. But there is next year! Yes, I am already looking forward to it...
Once the dismantling of camp was over I had planned to be dropped home, to sit on teh interwebz, to do very litte and chill. But, oh no, there were better things to do; Norwich City vs Swansea. Bearing in mind I'm not that big a football fan, this was an unusual event for me. But there was a spare ticket going free; I wasn't going to say no. Football isn't really my thing; I find watching game after game boring; I can't be bothered to watch games involving teams I care nothing about. But I get into it when it's Norwich... I loved it; I'd never been to a Championship game before, only a friendly. The atmosphere was immense! I got straight into it and was shouting (probably completely useless) advice at the team. :P Although they did need to keep the ball down more and pass instead of hoofing it backwards to no one... Anyway. We won. The game was somewhat poor; we didn't play well at all. However, after a quality penalty save the team started to play. Then Swansea scored an own goal; the stadium exploded and we all started chanting "WHO ARE YA? WHO ARE YA?" Then we all started dancing... love it.
Then, in the last 4 minutes, Simeon Jackson in his second game for Norwich scored with a scorcher of a volley. And we all cheered our lungs out.
I now want a Norwich jersey. There's no way I'll ever become a proper football fan; I just can't be bothered with all that. I'm too much of a geek to let something as normal as football become part of my interests. It's just not compatible with my software.
This weekend has been great. I've loved having a Saturday off to do something Normal and not taking it off so I can do something specific...
That's all for now... ciao.
But yesterday... I ESCAPED! Okay, so it wasn't mainly to do anything fun; I went up to the YPBC camp site on the Friday and stayed over to help take down and pack up. However, it didn't take that long; we were gone by about 11 o'clock which was a relief to everyone. We had a great number of people there and everything went brilliantly well. Couldn't have hoped for a better day, weather-wise, either. It was beautiful - warm, sunny, nice breeze. I even managed to get a little bit of tannage going on (my neck is now rather toasted).
However, it was a little sad standing at the top of the camp site looking down towards the sea with wind gusting at my back. It was empty; the cookhouse was gone, the tents were gone, all the orange fencing was gone... I did get a little emotional, I must admit. I guess it's because it's been the best year I've had at camp so far. It was simply a week of legendary proportions. I even miss the weeks I didn't go to. But there is next year! Yes, I am already looking forward to it...
Once the dismantling of camp was over I had planned to be dropped home, to sit on teh interwebz, to do very litte and chill. But, oh no, there were better things to do; Norwich City vs Swansea. Bearing in mind I'm not that big a football fan, this was an unusual event for me. But there was a spare ticket going free; I wasn't going to say no. Football isn't really my thing; I find watching game after game boring; I can't be bothered to watch games involving teams I care nothing about. But I get into it when it's Norwich... I loved it; I'd never been to a Championship game before, only a friendly. The atmosphere was immense! I got straight into it and was shouting (probably completely useless) advice at the team. :P Although they did need to keep the ball down more and pass instead of hoofing it backwards to no one... Anyway. We won. The game was somewhat poor; we didn't play well at all. However, after a quality penalty save the team started to play. Then Swansea scored an own goal; the stadium exploded and we all started chanting "WHO ARE YA? WHO ARE YA?" Then we all started dancing... love it.
Then, in the last 4 minutes, Simeon Jackson in his second game for Norwich scored with a scorcher of a volley. And we all cheered our lungs out.
I now want a Norwich jersey. There's no way I'll ever become a proper football fan; I just can't be bothered with all that. I'm too much of a geek to let something as normal as football become part of my interests. It's just not compatible with my software.
This weekend has been great. I've loved having a Saturday off to do something Normal and not taking it off so I can do something specific...
That's all for now... ciao.
Thursday 19 August 2010
mildly moist
Well, I thought it was about time I re-emerged from my pit.
Hi, how we all doing? Hope you're all well. I dunno why I say "all", I doubt anyone reads this. But anyway, lets hear it for optimism! ...No one...? Okay then...
Today has been a pretty awesome day; camp is coming to an end for another year and Abi and I spent the day there. Unbeknown to us, it was the day of the water games. Had Abi and I known there were water games today we would have bought a change of clothes... but we didn't. We tried to avoid a dousing however, we were somewhat unsuccessful. I got off pretty lightly if I'm honest; water balloon to the back, cup of water over the head. Abi wasn't so lucky... She got dragged down the water slide... and got very very wet. I found it quite humorous. Abi not so much.
However, we really went there for one thing and one thing only: the talent show. It's always something special, and this year it was particularly so. Johnny and Steve were hosting it... It was awesome. They were a police man and a robber, tennis players, people having an argument in a library, a surfer drowning and a lifeguard... And much more. It was hilarious, I don't think I've laughed so much in ages. At one point a group of girls decided to pull members of the audience up to the front and ask them questions; get them right, you get sweets... get them wrong and you get a water balloon burst over your head. I was called out. I got my question wrong... :P There were many acts put on but I really think the highlight was the return of Fake That; as far as camp is concerned, the ONLY Take That cover act. I was, of course, participating. It was immense, even if I do say so myself. The audience were singing along, clapping and swaying their hands in the air. It was a wonderful moment and, I won't lie, it did bring a little tear to my eye. We're going up again tomorrow till Saturday for take down.
Camp's coming to an end again; these 4 weeks always seem to go by so fast! A normal week usually drags on, it seems to last a month. But these weeks on camp go by so quickly, its unbelievable. The week on young Christian's camp felt like it had barely started and then it was over. Camp is always amazing but this year it seemed that little bit more special; I'm not sure what it was that made it so good. The teaching I got was class as always, and the fellowship I had with other Christians was beaut; I'll always miss it. Friday and Saturaday we're going to be packing everything up, saying goodbye to the site and everything used at camp and it is gonna be kinda sad.
However, all good things must come to an end. Bring on next year!
Hi, how we all doing? Hope you're all well. I dunno why I say "all", I doubt anyone reads this. But anyway, lets hear it for optimism! ...No one...? Okay then...
Today has been a pretty awesome day; camp is coming to an end for another year and Abi and I spent the day there. Unbeknown to us, it was the day of the water games. Had Abi and I known there were water games today we would have bought a change of clothes... but we didn't. We tried to avoid a dousing however, we were somewhat unsuccessful. I got off pretty lightly if I'm honest; water balloon to the back, cup of water over the head. Abi wasn't so lucky... She got dragged down the water slide... and got very very wet. I found it quite humorous. Abi not so much.
However, we really went there for one thing and one thing only: the talent show. It's always something special, and this year it was particularly so. Johnny and Steve were hosting it... It was awesome. They were a police man and a robber, tennis players, people having an argument in a library, a surfer drowning and a lifeguard... And much more. It was hilarious, I don't think I've laughed so much in ages. At one point a group of girls decided to pull members of the audience up to the front and ask them questions; get them right, you get sweets... get them wrong and you get a water balloon burst over your head. I was called out. I got my question wrong... :P There were many acts put on but I really think the highlight was the return of Fake That; as far as camp is concerned, the ONLY Take That cover act. I was, of course, participating. It was immense, even if I do say so myself. The audience were singing along, clapping and swaying their hands in the air. It was a wonderful moment and, I won't lie, it did bring a little tear to my eye. We're going up again tomorrow till Saturday for take down.
Camp's coming to an end again; these 4 weeks always seem to go by so fast! A normal week usually drags on, it seems to last a month. But these weeks on camp go by so quickly, its unbelievable. The week on young Christian's camp felt like it had barely started and then it was over. Camp is always amazing but this year it seemed that little bit more special; I'm not sure what it was that made it so good. The teaching I got was class as always, and the fellowship I had with other Christians was beaut; I'll always miss it. Friday and Saturaday we're going to be packing everything up, saying goodbye to the site and everything used at camp and it is gonna be kinda sad.
However, all good things must come to an end. Bring on next year!
Sunday 8 August 2010
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe, don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe, don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck., originally uploaded by itspaulkelly.
Well I'm back and I thought I might as well start of with this photo. It's one of my favourite pictures I've found on flickr, mainly for the Doctor Who reference. But, nonetheless, it's a really nice photo. I love these stone statues manily because they're so eerily still and almost creepily peaceful... And then there's the association with Doctor Who; that possibility that as soon as you blink it could be gone... Or at your throat. There's always going to be a little bit of me that would love it if, one day, I was looking at a statue of an Angel and it moved as I blinked.
That's a plus of having a vivid imagination; some times, I'm not totally sure that they haven't moved, even if it's only a tiny bit... But that's just me and the kid I am. I'm fascinated by seemingly impossibilities. Things that the grown up world know are impossible; things that can not happen in real life. There's a little saying that I've grown to love: nothing is impossible, merely mathematically improbable.
Anyway, I'm going to get back into blogging soon. I've been a bit slack, not a lot's been going on and I feel boring... Anyway, ttyl.
Thursday 15 July 2010
Significance
Out of 100 billion galaxies...
Existing in 100 billion star systems...
Out of 7 billion people...
You have your own unique genetic makeup...
Your thumbprint is yours alone...
You can create art, and write a song and are depended upon by others that love you.
You are enormously significant.
You often see a lot of posts emphasizing our insignificance in the universe, emphasizing how small each of us is. How incredibly small. I think about the enormity of the universe and, yeah, it makes me feel completely miniscule. There's a star called VY Canis Majoris; it's the largest known star and it's between 1,550,000,000 and 1,800,000,000 miles in diameter. That's enormous. Earth's diameter? 7,926 miles. That is tiny compared to canis Majoris. And you thought Earth was big. Feel small yet?
Ok, you feel small. And it's very very good to realise that sometimes. However, very rarely is the opposite highlighted.
You are the only one of you that there will ever be. You are wonderful and completely individual. One ina billion seven billion. You are incredibly, wonderfully significant. Don't you dare tell yourself otherwise.
Existing in 100 billion star systems...
Out of 7 billion people...
You have your own unique genetic makeup...
Your thumbprint is yours alone...
You can create art, and write a song and are depended upon by others that love you.
You are enormously significant.
You often see a lot of posts emphasizing our insignificance in the universe, emphasizing how small each of us is. How incredibly small. I think about the enormity of the universe and, yeah, it makes me feel completely miniscule. There's a star called VY Canis Majoris; it's the largest known star and it's between 1,550,000,000 and 1,800,000,000 miles in diameter. That's enormous. Earth's diameter? 7,926 miles. That is tiny compared to canis Majoris. And you thought Earth was big. Feel small yet?
Ok, you feel small. And it's very very good to realise that sometimes. However, very rarely is the opposite highlighted.
You are the only one of you that there will ever be. You are wonderful and completely individual. One in
Wednesday 14 July 2010
paranoia
I don't normally get paranoid. It's unsual and I don't like it.
Tonight, I am.
This doesn't happen to me very often; but sometimes I get the feeling that my friends are using me. Like they're only around because they get something from me, because I am "useful" and as soon as I stop being useful or as stop giving them the thing that they want they'll drop me. They'll walk out of my life and I'll be left alone.
I know that this is, most likely, totally not true. But the small voice that sits in the back of my consciousness shouting this is very convincing sometimes. And it hurts. The thought of it hurts so so much. I've had people that I thought were the best of friends, and friends that would never hurt me, stab me in the back. Betray me. Turn around and leave me. And I don't want it to happen again. I can't take it.
It's the only thing I'm afraid of more than clowns: losing the people I love and being left alone. The majority of the time I'm completely sure that I will be... And I hate it when my mind makes up nonexistant shit like this that is so very very convincing.
I know... I'm sure that this is crap that my mind is making up.
But it's really really convincing crap...
Tonight, I am.
This doesn't happen to me very often; but sometimes I get the feeling that my friends are using me. Like they're only around because they get something from me, because I am "useful" and as soon as I stop being useful or as stop giving them the thing that they want they'll drop me. They'll walk out of my life and I'll be left alone.
I know that this is, most likely, totally not true. But the small voice that sits in the back of my consciousness shouting this is very convincing sometimes. And it hurts. The thought of it hurts so so much. I've had people that I thought were the best of friends, and friends that would never hurt me, stab me in the back. Betray me. Turn around and leave me. And I don't want it to happen again. I can't take it.
It's the only thing I'm afraid of more than clowns: losing the people I love and being left alone. The majority of the time I'm completely sure that I will be... And I hate it when my mind makes up nonexistant shit like this that is so very very convincing.
I know... I'm sure that this is crap that my mind is making up.
But it's really really convincing crap...
Saturday 3 July 2010
Sexism
This has never before happened to me and I am pretty taken aback.
Today I was told that actions that are now second nature to me are sexist. I strive in all situations to be a gentleman at all times even if I am, shall we say, not particularly fond of the female in question. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I get short and snappy. Hey, I'm still human. But I am kinda shocked and, well, apalled that things that have become automatic reactions, e.g. holding doors open, the custom of ladies first etc, have caused my to be called sexist. It's ridiculous! It's simple manners. How can it be sexist? It's not putting women down? It's not placing them on a level lower than that of men. It's not debasing them. If anything, it's putting them ahead of men, ahead of myself anyway.
Call me sexist. I do not care. I will never stop being a gentleman.
Today I was told that actions that are now second nature to me are sexist. I strive in all situations to be a gentleman at all times even if I am, shall we say, not particularly fond of the female in question. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I get short and snappy. Hey, I'm still human. But I am kinda shocked and, well, apalled that things that have become automatic reactions, e.g. holding doors open, the custom of ladies first etc, have caused my to be called sexist. It's ridiculous! It's simple manners. How can it be sexist? It's not putting women down? It's not placing them on a level lower than that of men. It's not debasing them. If anything, it's putting them ahead of men, ahead of myself anyway.
Call me sexist. I do not care. I will never stop being a gentleman.
Friday 2 July 2010
Boring
I am, apparently, boring. Now, I would normally go along with this asessment. I feel I am a rather boring person. However, I won't go along with it this time.
I hardly ever drink. It's my choice, I honestly don't see the point if I'm honest. It's expensive and rarely tastes good. I'd much rather drink something that tastes good and isn't going to bankrupt me after a night. Does that make me boring? Nope. What is the point of spending a fortune on getting totally shitfaced, not remembering what you did and even if you could it's likely that you wouldn't want to remember the things that you did. And I will have an intact liver.
I don't smoke. Seriously? Are you even using this as a case for my being boring? Yeah, I'm so boring for wanting to avoid lung cancer... I'm not even going to comment majorly, this is so pathetic.
I'm not "into girls". Now, I know what you mean by this. I am into girls, in a certain sense. I just don't screw everything female that I come into contact with. I'm a virgin and I am proud to say it. Far too many people go out and lose it to any mildly attractive douche they find in a club. Not for me thanks; that's too easy. It's far more challenging and rewarding to hold onto something that is given away too easily in this culture. So it feels great. Big woop. It'll feel even better after a long wait, I can guarantee you.
I'm sick and tired of being labelled as boring because I am different. I like things that you don't. In all honesty, I find you boring and vacuous. You are all the same; you live to get totally wasted on the weekends and it's pointless and dull. You work hard to gain money and then you throw it away on booze. You are so unutterably unbearable and I hope that I never have to spend time with you socially. Any of you.
~Directed towards those at my work place. Enjoy your liver poisoning, lung cancer and syphilis.~ :)
I hardly ever drink. It's my choice, I honestly don't see the point if I'm honest. It's expensive and rarely tastes good. I'd much rather drink something that tastes good and isn't going to bankrupt me after a night. Does that make me boring? Nope. What is the point of spending a fortune on getting totally shitfaced, not remembering what you did and even if you could it's likely that you wouldn't want to remember the things that you did. And I will have an intact liver.
I don't smoke. Seriously? Are you even using this as a case for my being boring? Yeah, I'm so boring for wanting to avoid lung cancer... I'm not even going to comment majorly, this is so pathetic.
I'm not "into girls". Now, I know what you mean by this. I am into girls, in a certain sense. I just don't screw everything female that I come into contact with. I'm a virgin and I am proud to say it. Far too many people go out and lose it to any mildly attractive douche they find in a club. Not for me thanks; that's too easy. It's far more challenging and rewarding to hold onto something that is given away too easily in this culture. So it feels great. Big woop. It'll feel even better after a long wait, I can guarantee you.
I'm sick and tired of being labelled as boring because I am different. I like things that you don't. In all honesty, I find you boring and vacuous. You are all the same; you live to get totally wasted on the weekends and it's pointless and dull. You work hard to gain money and then you throw it away on booze. You are so unutterably unbearable and I hope that I never have to spend time with you socially. Any of you.
~Directed towards those at my work place. Enjoy your liver poisoning, lung cancer and syphilis.~ :)
Thursday 1 July 2010
It's all going on
Day 2 of the Royal Norfolk Show; and it's already driving me a little mad. Well, It's not been too bad really. I visited the stand of the Seal and Bird Rescue Trust, the animal rehabilitation centre I used to go to quite a lot. I stopped going for quite some time mainly because I just didn't have time because of my coursework. But, once I'd dropped the coursework, I didn't go back because someone I regarded as a very good friend, almost a best friend, told me that it had gone majorly down hill. The quality of care afforded the animals was very poor. And so I decided not to go back for some time; I thought I would probably go back at some point to see how it really was for myself. This friend, she shall remain nameless, was prone to over exaggeration and so it was highly likely that it wasn't as bad as she made out. But I hadn't been back yet.
So, it was good to get to see them yesterday. There's been some new additions to the troupe of animals, which I will cover later. But when I got there I got talking to Bev about things and it all turned round to this old friend. Without going into painful details, it turned out that she had been making up stories about the centre to me, and about me to the centre. It turned out the she was lying, manipulative and scheming. I had essentially been stabbed in the back be someone I called a best friend. It made me feel like I wasn't worth any real friends. Yeah, I felt pretty down last night, to say the least.
But it was really good to catch up with everyone. I'd missed them, and that place and all the animals. And there had been additions! The main reptile expert had been dying for some "Ackies" aka Ridge-tailed Monitors for a long long time. Bev had never let him get his way... Until now. And they are absolutely gorgeous. They have a reputation for being a bit scatty and a bit of a pain to calm down. These are immense. They're so perfectly manned, really easy to handle, they sit nice and still, they don't wriggle. I may be in love with them... Also, one of the girls that goes there, Rebecca, brought along some of her collection of spiders and tarantula. She has a few really nice ones, but one in particular I am in love with and are determined to get. It's called a Green Bottle Blue. Imagine it: it has blue legs, a green body and an orangey-brown tail. IT'S AMAZING! <3 love love love.
I'm currently on our own stand: the Good News stand. There have been issues that have been getting me a little hot under the collar. The part I play is minor; we have craft for kids to come in and make. As a souveneir type thing they get a certificate. One part of it, my part, is their photo. If they want, they cane have their photo taken and printed out so that they can stick it on. But the printer is, I have decided, a diva. I have, in fact, nicknamed it madonna. When we get low on certificates I have to print more out and I queue up 10 at a time. However, the printer decides that it doesn't want to do this. It will print out one... maybe two if it's feeling gracious... and then promptly refuse to take any more card through. She throws a hissy fit. Does the printer version of throwing a vase of flowers at me. It's great. And it's so. slow. Like, slower than a dead person moves slow. THAT slow. I've got six kids stood round me waiting for their photos and it's printing, like, one row of 4 photos in half an hour.
Okay. That's a slight exaggeration. >_>
It's not too bad now. I think, now that we have people coming in, Madonna has her audience and is going to behave and perform. *fingers crossed touch wood*
As a side note, yes I am possting this FROM the Norfolk Show ground. I'm pretty amazed that i managed to find a reasonably good wireless connection. Still, it's a tad slow... But hey, it's like time travelling back to the days of dial up...
Or, maybe, no thanks. I'd rather not do that...
Anyway, I think I have kids to photograph.
Ciao
So, it was good to get to see them yesterday. There's been some new additions to the troupe of animals, which I will cover later. But when I got there I got talking to Bev about things and it all turned round to this old friend. Without going into painful details, it turned out that she had been making up stories about the centre to me, and about me to the centre. It turned out the she was lying, manipulative and scheming. I had essentially been stabbed in the back be someone I called a best friend. It made me feel like I wasn't worth any real friends. Yeah, I felt pretty down last night, to say the least.
But it was really good to catch up with everyone. I'd missed them, and that place and all the animals. And there had been additions! The main reptile expert had been dying for some "Ackies" aka Ridge-tailed Monitors for a long long time. Bev had never let him get his way... Until now. And they are absolutely gorgeous. They have a reputation for being a bit scatty and a bit of a pain to calm down. These are immense. They're so perfectly manned, really easy to handle, they sit nice and still, they don't wriggle. I may be in love with them... Also, one of the girls that goes there, Rebecca, brought along some of her collection of spiders and tarantula. She has a few really nice ones, but one in particular I am in love with and are determined to get. It's called a Green Bottle Blue. Imagine it: it has blue legs, a green body and an orangey-brown tail. IT'S AMAZING! <3 love love love.
I'm currently on our own stand: the Good News stand. There have been issues that have been getting me a little hot under the collar. The part I play is minor; we have craft for kids to come in and make. As a souveneir type thing they get a certificate. One part of it, my part, is their photo. If they want, they cane have their photo taken and printed out so that they can stick it on. But the printer is, I have decided, a diva. I have, in fact, nicknamed it madonna. When we get low on certificates I have to print more out and I queue up 10 at a time. However, the printer decides that it doesn't want to do this. It will print out one... maybe two if it's feeling gracious... and then promptly refuse to take any more card through. She throws a hissy fit. Does the printer version of throwing a vase of flowers at me. It's great. And it's so. slow. Like, slower than a dead person moves slow. THAT slow. I've got six kids stood round me waiting for their photos and it's printing, like, one row of 4 photos in half an hour.
Okay. That's a slight exaggeration. >_>
It's not too bad now. I think, now that we have people coming in, Madonna has her audience and is going to behave and perform. *fingers crossed touch wood*
As a side note, yes I am possting this FROM the Norfolk Show ground. I'm pretty amazed that i managed to find a reasonably good wireless connection. Still, it's a tad slow... But hey, it's like time travelling back to the days of dial up...
Or, maybe, no thanks. I'd rather not do that...
Anyway, I think I have kids to photograph.
Ciao
Friday 25 June 2010
Swedish sweets
I feel secure in the absolute fact of this statement: these are the most amazing sweets I have ever tasted. Bar none.
I want to eat these every day of my life...
Friday 18 June 2010
What to do, what to do...
I hate it when awkward and annoying situations arise. Some people can't take a hint. :/
I'm too nice, this is my problem. I can't just say "Go away. I don't want to hang out."
Lately, an "old friend" has decided to try and renew an old friendship. We used to hang out loads when we were younger. We were both MASSIVE Star Wars geeks, loved all the same movies so yeah, we got on well. Had a lot in common.
But that was then. This is now. Through different circumstances we stopped hanging out. Just the way things go. But he now wants to start hanging out again and the thing is... I've changed. My taste has widened and I've become a different person whilst he's stayed the same. We have barely anything in common any more and he doesn't see it. He doesn't take any hints, the numerous awkward silences go by as if they're unnoticed and he doesn't seem to get it. We're two very different people now...
Oh what to do, what to do...
I'm too nice, this is my problem. I can't just say "Go away. I don't want to hang out."
Lately, an "old friend" has decided to try and renew an old friendship. We used to hang out loads when we were younger. We were both MASSIVE Star Wars geeks, loved all the same movies so yeah, we got on well. Had a lot in common.
But that was then. This is now. Through different circumstances we stopped hanging out. Just the way things go. But he now wants to start hanging out again and the thing is... I've changed. My taste has widened and I've become a different person whilst he's stayed the same. We have barely anything in common any more and he doesn't see it. He doesn't take any hints, the numerous awkward silences go by as if they're unnoticed and he doesn't seem to get it. We're two very different people now...
Oh what to do, what to do...
Sunday 13 June 2010
Growing up
Small word of advice: DON'T DO IT.
Don't, I repeat, DO NOT ON ANY ACCOUNT GROW UP.
It's so ironic how we spend all of our young lives dying to be older, celebrating each year that passes as if it's a good thing. Saying "I can't wait till I'm 16" then when we reach 16, "I can't wait till I'm 18." Yearning to grow up. And then, as we get towards adulthood we realise how foolish we were to rush the growing up process. There is nothing wonderful about growing up. There is nothing about the adult world that warrants it's accelerated arrival.
The world of a child is a glorious, colorful place. Simple things are enjoyed and no one asks questions or bats an eyelid. Everything is a game.
The adult world is cold and grey. If you enjoy simple things you are glanced at sideways and people wonder if you're quite alright. Games are forbidden. Unless it's football or some other endlessly dull sport.
No one should be rushed to grow up. People that grow up become lawyers or bankers or accountants or dictators or other such endlessly dull professions.
I will never grow up. I refuse to grow up, point blank. Why should I? What is the point? Why do I need to grow up?
I refuse. No.
I. Don't. Want. To.
Don't, I repeat, DO NOT ON ANY ACCOUNT GROW UP.
It's so ironic how we spend all of our young lives dying to be older, celebrating each year that passes as if it's a good thing. Saying "I can't wait till I'm 16" then when we reach 16, "I can't wait till I'm 18." Yearning to grow up. And then, as we get towards adulthood we realise how foolish we were to rush the growing up process. There is nothing wonderful about growing up. There is nothing about the adult world that warrants it's accelerated arrival.
The world of a child is a glorious, colorful place. Simple things are enjoyed and no one asks questions or bats an eyelid. Everything is a game.
The adult world is cold and grey. If you enjoy simple things you are glanced at sideways and people wonder if you're quite alright. Games are forbidden. Unless it's football or some other endlessly dull sport.
No one should be rushed to grow up. People that grow up become lawyers or bankers or accountants or dictators or other such endlessly dull professions.
I will never grow up. I refuse to grow up, point blank. Why should I? What is the point? Why do I need to grow up?
I refuse. No.
I. Don't. Want. To.
*sigh* I try...
Some people I don't think I will ever understand. I'm normally fairly good with people, but some I just can't place. I just can't read them.
I am thinking of one person in particular. She goes to our church and I can't read her. I can't read what she wants.
I try and be nice to her, but she kinda acts all stand off-ish and like she wants to be all banter-ful.
So I attempt banteryness and she acts all "awww, that's so mean :("
I try, I try. I guess there are some people you'll jsut never be able to please...
I am thinking of one person in particular. She goes to our church and I can't read her. I can't read what she wants.
I try and be nice to her, but she kinda acts all stand off-ish and like she wants to be all banter-ful.
So I attempt banteryness and she acts all "awww, that's so mean :("
I try, I try. I guess there are some people you'll jsut never be able to please...
Friday 11 June 2010
Good Day is Good
I've had a really very good couple of days on all accounts. Yesterday was great, mainly because I won an absolutely amazing model kit on Ebay. It's of a mech from an old tv series called "Zoids" and it's of my favourite zoid; the Geno Breaker. I've really wanted one of these for ages, but because they com
e from Japan, they're kinda expensive. I haven't seen a new one for less than £80 including postage and it's more normally around £90. This was £75 including postage, it's coming from the UK and its condition is brand new. It was an uwanted B'day present (which is insane, who wouldn't want this!?) Hopefully it'll be here tomorrow, it was sent off this morning I believe. TOTALLY can't wait to build this. It's a friggin beast!
And today has been a good day on all accounts. I actually got out of the house for a bit! I know! Shock horror! In fact, I didn't spend much of today in the house. And there have been several events that have made this day rather good.
Woke up this morning to hear mum telling me she was going out to do some shopping. Out to Asda she went and I was left to shake off sleep and bring myself into the land of the living once again. Did all the normal morning shiz and got on with what I thought was going to be another dull day. Then I got a text from mum. "I've just seen Darth Vader in Asda!" Now me, being a Star Wars geek, became extremely jealous at this fact. "Awwww maaan, I wish I'd have gone." Soon after I got a text that sealed the deal. "They're all here, the goodies and the baddies."
Off Abi and I went to Asda. I wasn't missing this. My mission: to get a photo with Darth Vader. As you can see, I was successful. It seriously made my day, it did; I was one happy fanboy/ geek. I like his pink b
ucket. It's good to know that even the dark lord of the sith wants to increase awareness of breast cancer and raise money for research. I love it that Norwich has it's own Star Wars costuming club. :P
Then after popping home for some lunch we went into the city centre for a bit which was good.
I kinda enjoy going into Norwich even when I don't really have anything to do (well, I did need to get some grey paint for my geno breaker. Some minor detailing needs to be done.) It was good, there were a few good buskers out. One guy was down by WH Smiths and was really rather epic. Great singer and I think he wrote his own songs. I didn't recognise the stuff he was singing anyways. I also decided that it was time I expanded my music collection; into HMV I went with the aim of walking out with one new album. After browsing about a bit I decided upon In Rainbows by Radiohead. I've never really given them a listen and I thought it was about time. And I love it, I really can't stop listening to the album. It's so so good!
Then I had a bit of a wander which was nice, then just chilled and had an epic latté with the Mooma.
All in all, it's been a pretty good day, although I have a stomach ache now and I'm not reeeeally looking forward to work tomorrow. Oh well.
Ciao
e from Japan, they're kinda expensive. I haven't seen a new one for less than £80 including postage and it's more normally around £90. This was £75 including postage, it's coming from the UK and its condition is brand new. It was an uwanted B'day present (which is insane, who wouldn't want this!?) Hopefully it'll be here tomorrow, it was sent off this morning I believe. TOTALLY can't wait to build this. It's a friggin beast!And today has been a good day on all accounts. I actually got out of the house for a bit! I know! Shock horror! In fact, I didn't spend much of today in the house. And there have been several events that have made this day rather good.
Woke up this morning to hear mum telling me she was going out to do some shopping. Out to Asda she went and I was left to shake off sleep and bring myself into the land of the living once again. Did all the normal morning shiz and got on with what I thought was going to be another dull day. Then I got a text from mum. "I've just seen Darth Vader in Asda!" Now me, being a Star Wars geek, became extremely jealous at this fact. "Awwww maaan, I wish I'd have gone." Soon after I got a text that sealed the deal. "They're all here, the goodies and the baddies."
Off Abi and I went to Asda. I wasn't missing this. My mission: to get a photo with Darth Vader. As you can see, I was successful. It seriously made my day, it did; I was one happy fanboy/ geek. I like his pink b
ucket. It's good to know that even the dark lord of the sith wants to increase awareness of breast cancer and raise money for research. I love it that Norwich has it's own Star Wars costuming club. :PThen after popping home for some lunch we went into the city centre for a bit which was good.
I kinda enjoy going into Norwich even when I don't really have anything to do (well, I did need to get some grey paint for my geno breaker. Some minor detailing needs to be done.) It was good, there were a few good buskers out. One guy was down by WH Smiths and was really rather epic. Great singer and I think he wrote his own songs. I didn't recognise the stuff he was singing anyways. I also decided that it was time I expanded my music collection; into HMV I went with the aim of walking out with one new album. After browsing about a bit I decided upon In Rainbows by Radiohead. I've never really given them a listen and I thought it was about time. And I love it, I really can't stop listening to the album. It's so so good!
Then I had a bit of a wander which was nice, then just chilled and had an epic latté with the Mooma.
All in all, it's been a pretty good day, although I have a stomach ache now and I'm not reeeeally looking forward to work tomorrow. Oh well.
Ciao
Thursday 10 June 2010
Are you sitting comfortably?
Tuesdays are quickly becoming my favourite day. Mum, in her capacity as cleaner, goes round to her friend's place, has a bit of a chat and then helps round the house. For the past few weeks I've been tagging along to help out in the very essential role of occupying Vicky's kids, Rachel, Lauren and Gracie. And I love it. They're adorable. lauren and Rachel are twins so it's fun trying to work out which is which :P But they're great. They've worked out that it winds me up when they call me dad, thus it's their favourite thing to do when I'm there :P And I'm always nabbed as storyteller. Onto the sofa I must sit and books must be read. I almost must act as negotiator as I'm yet to find a book all three of them like.
Two sources of fascination for all three of them are:
And they never tire of wearing my glasses. But a new fascination was found in my phone. It slipped out of my pocket and Rachel ran off with it.
And Wednesday and Thursday mornings are great too. There's the mums and toddlers group at church which I help out at. That's a lot of fun too, although there are a few kids that are afraid of me, despite having never had any contact with me above eye contact... I guess I'm just a scary looking guy. But there is one kid that's a bit of a star. He's a little Indian fella and every week I have to play his favourite game with him. This involves him climbing up the little slide the wrong way, he stands at the top and I whisk him off like he's a rocket, and then he clumbs back up it and slides down. This is repeated until I am totally worn out and need a drink.
But this is one of the things I love about kids; they don't get bored with things so easily. Something simple can occupy them for hours and hours and it makes them so happy, like they just discovered a way to make an everlasting chocolate cake...
I love kids. I can't wait to be a dad. Although the prospect of having a kid, or having more than one kid scares the life outta me. One day though, hopefully...
Two sources of fascination for all three of them are:
- my glasses
- my beard
And they never tire of wearing my glasses. But a new fascination was found in my phone. It slipped out of my pocket and Rachel ran off with it.
And Wednesday and Thursday mornings are great too. There's the mums and toddlers group at church which I help out at. That's a lot of fun too, although there are a few kids that are afraid of me, despite having never had any contact with me above eye contact... I guess I'm just a scary looking guy. But there is one kid that's a bit of a star. He's a little Indian fella and every week I have to play his favourite game with him. This involves him climbing up the little slide the wrong way, he stands at the top and I whisk him off like he's a rocket, and then he clumbs back up it and slides down. This is repeated until I am totally worn out and need a drink.
But this is one of the things I love about kids; they don't get bored with things so easily. Something simple can occupy them for hours and hours and it makes them so happy, like they just discovered a way to make an everlasting chocolate cake...
I love kids. I can't wait to be a dad. Although the prospect of having a kid, or having more than one kid scares the life outta me. One day though, hopefully...
Tuesday 1 June 2010
Dreams do come true (geek post)
Okay, so that may be a slightly misleading title but it's kinda true... Gundam. I am a massive geek and a big kid and so the combination of building models of giant robots from Japanese anime is pure gold. Anyway, first Gundam Series I ever watched was Gundam Wing and from the first episode I was hooked. Gundam Wing is one of the most popular series in the franchise and, as such, it's kinda weird that there hasn't been and of the Mobile Suits made into Master Grade kits yet. Master grades are the most popular kits and you would think it would be the obvious thing to do.
Well, that has now been rectified. Last month, the Wing Gundam came out. The main Gundam from Gundam Wing; the protagonist's Gundam, if you will. And reviews of it have been blinding. It's, on all accounts, a fantastic Gundam model and one I very definately need to get at some point.
But here's the thing, the one Gundam that absolutely took my breath away was the Shenlong. Mainly because its main weapon was a massive dragon claw that it unfolds and crushes other mobile suits with. I absolutely love this mobile suit just because it has simple epic points. But the only model kit of it was a poor quality, dodgy high grade that was kind uncommon and therefore a tad expensive. So since the release of the Wing Gundam I've been waiting for the announcement that I've been hoping would come.
And today it did. They're making the rest of them into master grades. Deathscythe, Heavyarms, Sandrock and Shenlong. I can't wait.
I'm also really excited about the Heavyarms because that never even got a high grade release! I'm very much looking forward to these new Gundams...
[Edit:] So... the new Deathscythe is a Version Ka. Hmmm, I'm not sure how I feel about this... The Ver ka is a really cool MS design but it would be awesome to have all the lead gundams to be anime accurate, like the MG Wing Gundam. But this leaves me with a confusing situation; will I get an anime accurate shenlong or a ver ka... I'm not entirely bothered because I like both designs. In fact, I would quite like a Shenlong ver ka, it's a really rather cool MS design...
The Last One
These thoughts are somewhat borrowed. I saw them on a post on my tumblr, but that's irrelovent. I'm elaborating on them.
Yesterday was the 31st of May 2010. The last day. The last May 2010 that will ever be. There will never be another May 2010. Can I look back on it and say "I lived that May 2010 exactly how I wanted to live it?" Had the 1st of June never come, would I be able to say "Yes. Today is a good day to die"? It's the end of something, something that can never be experienced in exactly the same way ever again...
Today, the 1st of June 2010. The only 1st of June 2010 that there will ever be. The beginning of the only June 2010 that there will ever be. And it will be amazing. I guarantee. I will live this June as exactly what it is: The last June 2010 I will ever live. Never again will I live a June that is just like this. And when it's over I'll look back at it and say, "mistakes were made. Yeah, I pretty much made them all the time. Bt I'm proud of the June I've just lived. Of the person I am as I exit it. Of the times I've spent. Goodbye June. Hello July."
Always, there is something ending and something beginning. As you settle down to sleep the day you just lived has gone. It's over. And thus I introduce my new goal; every single day of my life, I will try and do something worth remembering. Not something huge, something amazing, something spectacular. Something that I can look back at and say "yeah. I'm glad I did that." Whether it's doing a bungee jump, making someone's day a little better by telling them how beautiful they are or simply by telling someone close how much they mean to you.
I will probably fail at this goal and this post most likely seems horrifically pretentious, but it's something I've known for a long time.
The past is gone. Mistakes made cannot be un-made. Why worry about them? Learn, and look forward. Make each day count because you never know, it could be your last.
And if you do anything, make sure that every person that means something to you knows exactly what they mean to you. Don't go on letting them think they mean a lot to you when in reality, they mean the world.
I have rambled on enough.
That is all.
Ciao.
Yesterday was the 31st of May 2010. The last day. The last May 2010 that will ever be. There will never be another May 2010. Can I look back on it and say "I lived that May 2010 exactly how I wanted to live it?" Had the 1st of June never come, would I be able to say "Yes. Today is a good day to die"? It's the end of something, something that can never be experienced in exactly the same way ever again...
Today, the 1st of June 2010. The only 1st of June 2010 that there will ever be. The beginning of the only June 2010 that there will ever be. And it will be amazing. I guarantee. I will live this June as exactly what it is: The last June 2010 I will ever live. Never again will I live a June that is just like this. And when it's over I'll look back at it and say, "mistakes were made. Yeah, I pretty much made them all the time. Bt I'm proud of the June I've just lived. Of the person I am as I exit it. Of the times I've spent. Goodbye June. Hello July."
Always, there is something ending and something beginning. As you settle down to sleep the day you just lived has gone. It's over. And thus I introduce my new goal; every single day of my life, I will try and do something worth remembering. Not something huge, something amazing, something spectacular. Something that I can look back at and say "yeah. I'm glad I did that." Whether it's doing a bungee jump, making someone's day a little better by telling them how beautiful they are or simply by telling someone close how much they mean to you.
I will probably fail at this goal and this post most likely seems horrifically pretentious, but it's something I've known for a long time.
The past is gone. Mistakes made cannot be un-made. Why worry about them? Learn, and look forward. Make each day count because you never know, it could be your last.
And if you do anything, make sure that every person that means something to you knows exactly what they mean to you. Don't go on letting them think they mean a lot to you when in reality, they mean the world.
I have rambled on enough.
That is all.
Ciao.
Saturday 29 May 2010
"the Bad Guy"
I am so sick of being made the bad guy. Everything I do, I do for others. I want to be there at all times for my friends and family. I want them to be able to trust me and rely on me. That's me, the nice, reliable guy. Always there when you need him. But as soon as I need someone to be there for me I find the tables have totally changed. When I'm grumpy it's "You've changed and you need to sort your problem out," or if I need someone to be there for me and to hold me up I'm "Selfish".
Fine then. I'll be a mean bastard and let you sort out your own shit then, shall I? I bet you'd love it if I told you to stop being so selfish or that you've changed and need to sort your own problems out. Yeah, I should do it for the shits and giggles.
Except I won't.
Because I care about people too bloody much.
Because this little voice deep inside me tells me "treat others the way you would like to be treated."
Because this little voice deep inside me tells me "treat others the way you would like to be treated."
Friday 28 May 2010
We're only human
There is an odd state of mind that comes with the level of celebrity. They appear to be these superhuman entities that are just a little bit better then you. Just cos. And as such they are under intense scrutiny. Now, we all really know that they're just people, same us us, but we still hold them in a more accountable state, for some odd reason. Because they're in the public eye everything they do is pretty much known by everyone. Especially their mistakes. I'm guilty of this myself, although I didn't think I was. Certain events that have unfolded in the past few hours have caused me to realise this.
The event in question is this: Hayley Williams twitter account/ computer got hacked. And the hacker posted a pic that Hayley took in which she had got her boobs out.
And this, for some reason, made me lose a little bit of respect for Hayley. I have a lot of love for her, not because she's gorgeous and extremely cute or whatever (although, that is part of it). Now, I don't know her personally, but whenever I see her being interviewed or whatever the thing that strikes me about her is how normal she is. She's the front woman for a platinum selling band yet she's still so humble. She lives in a little house in her home town and drives a beat up old car that her mum used to drive. The shows Paramore play are just the guys doing their thing and playing their music. There's no elaborate sets, no ostentatious multiple costume changes. She's there rocking out and getting sweaty with the other guys in the band.
But the fact that this real, damn awesome person that I see has taken these pics, even if she didn't mean to post them, made my respect and my view of her fall a little.
But then I started thinking about it. Why? Why should it? It changes nothing. She is human, same as me, and no human is perfect. I should know this better than anyone. Human society is built on mistakes and slip ups. It's who we are. Find me a human that has never made a mistake and I will find you a flying elephant.
In the words of Lilo from Lilo & Stitch: "Even Elvis slipped up sometimes." In fact he slipped up a lot.
Mistakes are what make us, constant reminders of those mistakes is what breaks us.
The event in question is this: Hayley Williams twitter account/ computer got hacked. And the hacker posted a pic that Hayley took in which she had got her boobs out.
And this, for some reason, made me lose a little bit of respect for Hayley. I have a lot of love for her, not because she's gorgeous and extremely cute or whatever (although, that is part of it). Now, I don't know her personally, but whenever I see her being interviewed or whatever the thing that strikes me about her is how normal she is. She's the front woman for a platinum selling band yet she's still so humble. She lives in a little house in her home town and drives a beat up old car that her mum used to drive. The shows Paramore play are just the guys doing their thing and playing their music. There's no elaborate sets, no ostentatious multiple costume changes. She's there rocking out and getting sweaty with the other guys in the band.
But the fact that this real, damn awesome person that I see has taken these pics, even if she didn't mean to post them, made my respect and my view of her fall a little.
But then I started thinking about it. Why? Why should it? It changes nothing. She is human, same as me, and no human is perfect. I should know this better than anyone. Human society is built on mistakes and slip ups. It's who we are. Find me a human that has never made a mistake and I will find you a flying elephant.
In the words of Lilo from Lilo & Stitch: "Even Elvis slipped up sometimes." In fact he slipped up a lot.
Mistakes are what make us, constant reminders of those mistakes is what breaks us.
Tuesday 25 May 2010
It never ends...
Today, the boredom of this city hit me again. I am really starting to hate it here mainly because I have nothing to do. I can't just call someone and pop over to relax because even my friends here live, like, a 20 minute drive away. I have few friends. Granted, the ones I do have are amazing and I wouldn't change anything about them. But I wish more of them lived here. I have 2 really good friends that live in Norwich. That's it. It's so frustrating. Now you may say, come on. There's always a way to make new friends. Well, not for me there isn't. "Go out and have a good time with people from work?" No. All they care about is going out clubbing on the weekends and getting hammered. I can just about put up with them when I have to work with them. Placing myself in a situation that I cannot stand with people that I really do not like is just... No. No thanks.
My friends are all over the place. Sweden, Bournemouth, Ipswich. I hardly ever get to see them and I miss them every day. Why can't all the cool people that I love live in one place and me with them?
I miss having people to just sit and chat with. I can't wait for camp. For one whole week I'll be surrounded by people that are different to me, but all have one thing in common: christianity. I can't wait for those nights, sitting out under the stars talking about anything and everything. Can August be now please?
Neither can I wait for September. Minna's coming back. MINNA'S COMING BACK! Ooooh man I can't wait. The plan is for me to stay with her and the friends she's coming over with in London for three-ish days. I can not wait. I get to wake up knowing that I'm still in London and I can still talk to her and hang out. And it's gonna be beyond cool meeting Andreas and Mimmi (and anyone else that comes.) I really really want summer to go by pretty quick.
And then in the short term, half term is coming up. This means I gets a panda! ^_^ I really cant wait for this either. List of things currently planned: pretzels, photos, glompage, snuggles, talking, Lush (shop of bathy stuff. Only teh Gemma wants to go there. I'm not interested...), and chillage in the Norwich cathedral cloisters. I'm really looking forward to ACTUALLY doing something for once...
Anyways, I have moaned on enough. Ciao.
My friends are all over the place. Sweden, Bournemouth, Ipswich. I hardly ever get to see them and I miss them every day. Why can't all the cool people that I love live in one place and me with them?
I miss having people to just sit and chat with. I can't wait for camp. For one whole week I'll be surrounded by people that are different to me, but all have one thing in common: christianity. I can't wait for those nights, sitting out under the stars talking about anything and everything. Can August be now please?
Neither can I wait for September. Minna's coming back. MINNA'S COMING BACK! Ooooh man I can't wait. The plan is for me to stay with her and the friends she's coming over with in London for three-ish days. I can not wait. I get to wake up knowing that I'm still in London and I can still talk to her and hang out. And it's gonna be beyond cool meeting Andreas and Mimmi (and anyone else that comes.) I really really want summer to go by pretty quick.
And then in the short term, half term is coming up. This means I gets a panda! ^_^ I really cant wait for this either. List of things currently planned: pretzels, photos, glompage, snuggles, talking, Lush (shop of bathy stuff. Only teh Gemma wants to go there. I'm not interested...), and chillage in the Norwich cathedral cloisters. I'm really looking forward to ACTUALLY doing something for once...
Anyways, I have moaned on enough. Ciao.
Friday 21 May 2010
How funny
"Jesus got taken down. He was resuscitated, not resurrected." Matthew Bellamy.
I find this a hilarious statement. It's used quite a lot. Now, I hold my faith very strongly. There are many things thatr have made me who I am today and Christianity is the single greatest influence on how I live my life. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I am very very far from it. But becoming a Christian was the single best thing I have ever done. And ever will do.
But this statement is ridiculous. Lets see, Jesus was whipped with a Roman scourge. It had a number of "tails" attatched to it which were plaited cord and at the tip of each tail there would have been a butterfly shaped blade made of bone or metal. It was designed to rip pieces of flesh from the body. He was then nailed to a cross, one nail through each hand and one through both his feet. The ancient Romans didn't have advanced nail making techniques. These would have been rough nails with a square cross section made by a blacksmith. They wouldn't have gone through his hands easily. They would have smashed the tarsal and carpal bones as they were driven through his hands and feet. He was then hung for hours in the baking heat. Crucifiction was designed to kill by asphyxiation. The weight of your entire body was supported by your arms. Your chest muscles would be stretched making it very hard to breathe. Victims would then try to pull themselved up by their arms to take a breath. This would cause extreme pain; the full weight of the body is supported by the hands which have nails through them. After hours, or maybe even days hanging there without food or water the legs of the victim were usually broken to speed up the death and they would eventually die an agonizingly painful death.
Whilst Jesus was still on the cross, the Roman Soldiers came to break the legs of the other criminals but when they came to Jesus they found him already dead so there was no need to break his legs. However, to make sure he was dead, one of the soldiers took his sword and impaled it in Jesus's side. When he drew it out, blood and "water" flowed out from the wound.
Now, Jesus was taken down from the cross early. But this was because he had already died. Honestly, Jesus was one of the most hated men that ever existed. Do you think the Jewish leaders and Romans would have let him be taken away if there was ANY possibility of him still being alive? No. They would be totally mad to let him be taken away if there was a slight chance of hin still being alive yet dormant.
In my honest opinion, the idea that Jesus could have possibly been rescusitated is totally ridiculous. Any human being that goes through such an incredible ordeal stands no chance of surviving. It's not up for debate. It's physically impossible.
I find this a hilarious statement. It's used quite a lot. Now, I hold my faith very strongly. There are many things thatr have made me who I am today and Christianity is the single greatest influence on how I live my life. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I am very very far from it. But becoming a Christian was the single best thing I have ever done. And ever will do.
But this statement is ridiculous. Lets see, Jesus was whipped with a Roman scourge. It had a number of "tails" attatched to it which were plaited cord and at the tip of each tail there would have been a butterfly shaped blade made of bone or metal. It was designed to rip pieces of flesh from the body. He was then nailed to a cross, one nail through each hand and one through both his feet. The ancient Romans didn't have advanced nail making techniques. These would have been rough nails with a square cross section made by a blacksmith. They wouldn't have gone through his hands easily. They would have smashed the tarsal and carpal bones as they were driven through his hands and feet. He was then hung for hours in the baking heat. Crucifiction was designed to kill by asphyxiation. The weight of your entire body was supported by your arms. Your chest muscles would be stretched making it very hard to breathe. Victims would then try to pull themselved up by their arms to take a breath. This would cause extreme pain; the full weight of the body is supported by the hands which have nails through them. After hours, or maybe even days hanging there without food or water the legs of the victim were usually broken to speed up the death and they would eventually die an agonizingly painful death.
Whilst Jesus was still on the cross, the Roman Soldiers came to break the legs of the other criminals but when they came to Jesus they found him already dead so there was no need to break his legs. However, to make sure he was dead, one of the soldiers took his sword and impaled it in Jesus's side. When he drew it out, blood and "water" flowed out from the wound.
Now, Jesus was taken down from the cross early. But this was because he had already died. Honestly, Jesus was one of the most hated men that ever existed. Do you think the Jewish leaders and Romans would have let him be taken away if there was ANY possibility of him still being alive? No. They would be totally mad to let him be taken away if there was a slight chance of hin still being alive yet dormant.
In my honest opinion, the idea that Jesus could have possibly been rescusitated is totally ridiculous. Any human being that goes through such an incredible ordeal stands no chance of surviving. It's not up for debate. It's physically impossible.
Tuesday 18 May 2010
Neutron Star Collision
Yesterday, the new song by Muse came out; Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever). Now, I'm not particularly ecstatic about the Twilight saga thing that Muse have going on, but I can't say no to a new Muse track so I went straight to the Muse website and downloaded it. I wasn't expecting much...
But I was pleasantly surprised. The song is cheesy, granted. I mean, Matthew Bellamy singing "LOVE! IS FOREEEVVVEEEEEEERR! AND IF WE DIE! WE DIE TOGEEETHEEERRRRR!" with full on conviction and gusto is hard to take seriously. And it could do with some more classic muse "unf". But it works. It fits with the cheesy, glam rock route that they're taking lately and, you know what, it could have been far worse. If you can block out the litte voice that sits in the back of your head shouting "IT'S FOR THAT STUPID TWILIGHT MOVIE, DON'T FORGET!!! MUST NOT BE TRUSTED!" then it's a perfectly decent song. Not terrible, not blinding. And the musicality of it is really quite good too. The synths are cool, and I like the drums. They, along with the bass, kinda remind me of Knights of Cydonia. The guitar in it is pretty sweet too. And the song finishes with a stunning piano instrumental with a bit of Matt's oOoOoOoOoOoOo-ing.
Oooh, lyricsss!
I was searching you were on a mission
Then our hearts combined like a neutron star collision
I have nothing left to lose
You took your time to choose
Then we told each other with no trace of fear that
Our love would be forever
And if we die, we die together
Well I, I said never
Cause our love would be forever
The world is broken, halos fail to glisten
We try to make a difference but no one wants to listen
Hail the preachers, fake and proud
Their doctrines will be cloud
Then they'll dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean
Love is forever and we’ll die
We’ll die together
Well I, I said never
Cause our love, could be forever
*guitar solo*
Now I’ve got nothing left to lose
You take your side to choose
I can tell you now without a trace of fear
That my love will be forever
And well die, we’ll die together
Will I, I will never
Cause our love will be foreverLike I said, it's cheesy to the max. But it kinda works in a weird way.
But I was pleasantly surprised. The song is cheesy, granted. I mean, Matthew Bellamy singing "LOVE! IS FOREEEVVVEEEEEEERR! AND IF WE DIE! WE DIE TOGEEETHEEERRRRR!" with full on conviction and gusto is hard to take seriously. And it could do with some more classic muse "unf". But it works. It fits with the cheesy, glam rock route that they're taking lately and, you know what, it could have been far worse. If you can block out the litte voice that sits in the back of your head shouting "IT'S FOR THAT STUPID TWILIGHT MOVIE, DON'T FORGET!!! MUST NOT BE TRUSTED!" then it's a perfectly decent song. Not terrible, not blinding. And the musicality of it is really quite good too. The synths are cool, and I like the drums. They, along with the bass, kinda remind me of Knights of Cydonia. The guitar in it is pretty sweet too. And the song finishes with a stunning piano instrumental with a bit of Matt's oOoOoOoOoOoOo-ing.
Oooh, lyricsss!
I was searching you were on a mission
Then our hearts combined like a neutron star collision
I have nothing left to lose
You took your time to choose
Then we told each other with no trace of fear that
Our love would be forever
And if we die, we die together
Well I, I said never
Cause our love would be forever
The world is broken, halos fail to glisten
We try to make a difference but no one wants to listen
Hail the preachers, fake and proud
Their doctrines will be cloud
Then they'll dissipate like snowflakes in an ocean
Love is forever and we’ll die
We’ll die together
Well I, I said never
Cause our love, could be forever
*guitar solo*
Now I’ve got nothing left to lose
You take your side to choose
I can tell you now without a trace of fear
That my love will be forever
And well die, we’ll die together
Will I, I will never
Cause our love will be foreverLike I said, it's cheesy to the max. But it kinda works in a weird way.
Monday 17 May 2010
Thoughts
Very often we must choose between what is right and what is easy. Very often, the easy choice is exactly what we want. The right choice may not be so attractive to us, but deep down we know it's right and it's what we need. But this is the problem we'll always face; we'll always have to ask ourselves the question "is this thing that I want worth sacrificing what's right?" We could hold onto and experience what we want for the short term but eventually lose it, that's the only thing that can happen. Or we could acknowledge that it's what we want, but what is right is more important.
A guy had a very good friend. She was one of the best friends he'd ever had. As he continued to talk to her ideas were introduced and thoughts came into his head. "This person is amazing. In all honesty, I know we would be perfect together." This is what would be easy. This is exactly what he wants. However, he considers these things; thinks them over. "Am I willing to go for this and to push on into the unkonwn?" he asks himself. Is it worth it? Days go by and he still thinks on these things.
The easy option; a short time with this person as his girlfriend. It's everything he wants but he knows it will end sooner or later.
The right option; a lifetime with this person as a friend.
Why the deliberation? It seems an easy choice now. A special place in his heart is now occupied by this person, if she were to leave it would be terrible. He asked himself, "Do I want to know what it's like to say 'she is no longer a part of my life'?"
No. He did not. The unknown is exciting. But, sometimes, you must keep away from it to hold on to something wonderful.
There comes a time in everyone's lives when they must decide between what is right and what is easy. The fool chooses what is easy.
A guy had a very good friend. She was one of the best friends he'd ever had. As he continued to talk to her ideas were introduced and thoughts came into his head. "This person is amazing. In all honesty, I know we would be perfect together." This is what would be easy. This is exactly what he wants. However, he considers these things; thinks them over. "Am I willing to go for this and to push on into the unkonwn?" he asks himself. Is it worth it? Days go by and he still thinks on these things.
The easy option; a short time with this person as his girlfriend. It's everything he wants but he knows it will end sooner or later.
The right option; a lifetime with this person as a friend.
Why the deliberation? It seems an easy choice now. A special place in his heart is now occupied by this person, if she were to leave it would be terrible. He asked himself, "Do I want to know what it's like to say 'she is no longer a part of my life'?"
No. He did not. The unknown is exciting. But, sometimes, you must keep away from it to hold on to something wonderful.
There comes a time in everyone's lives when they must decide between what is right and what is easy. The fool chooses what is easy.
Sunday 16 May 2010
thoughts and ramblings
He went outside to get some fresh air. He'd been in his room so long that the stillness had started to get to him. He felt irritable, itchy all over. He rolled up the edges of his comfortable jeans so he wouldn't step on them as he went outside. He didn't feel like wearing any shoes; the coolness of the grass between his toes would be refreshing. He walked quietly through the living room where his mum lay asleep on the sofa. She had had a long day and he didn't want to wake her. He unlocked the back door and slipped out. As he stood on the grass he closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the cool, sweet night air. It was still, there was barely any traffic noise. For a moment he felt calm and content, but that was until he looked up at the night sky expecting to see stars. Instead, he saw a dull, blank, empty expanse lit by the dull glow of light pollution from the city. And he hated it. He hated everything about that moment. He clenched his fist, he gritted his teeth. His brows sunk down into a scowl. He hated living so close to a city, there was never a moment when it was totally silent and there was always that glow blotting out most of the stars, if not all of them. At that moment he hated every single person living in that city. Every single person lighting up the sky with their pitiful, pathetic lives that he didn't care anything about.
He closed his eyes tight and shook his head to try and clear this dark haze that was in his mind. He didn't like having thoughts and feelings like that. But it's difficult to shake discontent and hate and wanderlust off. He felt like he was trapped in a tiny box - like the sky was merely 6 or so feet above his head; only just out of his reach. He looked up at the sky for one final time, turned and walked slowly up the back steps of his house, his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his jeans.
He was stuck. Stuck in this little box with no sign of escape. With a sigh he gripped the handle of the door and pushed back inside.
*
Thursday night. I hate Norwich more and more. I need to get out for a bit, and soon.
He closed his eyes tight and shook his head to try and clear this dark haze that was in his mind. He didn't like having thoughts and feelings like that. But it's difficult to shake discontent and hate and wanderlust off. He felt like he was trapped in a tiny box - like the sky was merely 6 or so feet above his head; only just out of his reach. He looked up at the sky for one final time, turned and walked slowly up the back steps of his house, his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his jeans.
He was stuck. Stuck in this little box with no sign of escape. With a sigh he gripped the handle of the door and pushed back inside.
*
Thursday night. I hate Norwich more and more. I need to get out for a bit, and soon.
Sticks and stones...
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Except sometimes they do. A lot.
Banter is good fun and I enjoy it, but sometimes some people take it too far. If the person being ribbed is wiping away the occasional tear and has the distinct body language of someone that was distinctly uncomfortable, you know you've gone too far. But I find it amazing that some people can't see when this has happened.
*Sigh* Nothing will change. Life goes on.
Except sometimes they do. A lot.
Banter is good fun and I enjoy it, but sometimes some people take it too far. If the person being ribbed is wiping away the occasional tear and has the distinct body language of someone that was distinctly uncomfortable, you know you've gone too far. But I find it amazing that some people can't see when this has happened.
*Sigh* Nothing will change. Life goes on.
Friday 14 May 2010
GPOY
Okay, so this is going to be a bit of an effeminate post because I'm talking about my hair. So, right from the start, I'm at a loss.
Anyway, This morning, the most epic hair style that has ever been created on the top of my head was revealed. See pic above for refference.
However, tragically, it was squashed. Irrevocably.
Oh well :(
Muse - Neutron Star Collision
Muse - "30 Second Sneak Peek: Muse 'Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)'"
Wow. I'm actually looking forward to this song, despite the Twishite connection... Oh yay, more twilight fagirls screaming that they love muse when all they know is Super Massive Black Hole, I belong to you (crappy remix version) and Neutron Star Collision.
Anyway, I have no time to rant on. I have many more important things to be doing. Like boning up on Nerdfighteria.
DFTBA
Wow. I'm actually looking forward to this song, despite the Twishite connection... Oh yay, more twilight fagirls screaming that they love muse when all they know is Super Massive Black Hole, I belong to you (crappy remix version) and Neutron Star Collision.
Anyway, I have no time to rant on. I have many more important things to be doing. Like boning up on Nerdfighteria.
DFTBA
random days and nights
Thank goodness for skype. That's all I can say. It is one of the greatest inventions of the 21st century.
I love the random nights I have on skype with Minna. The laughing, the discussions, the planning. We can't be in the same place, but we almost can. :P I miss her a lot and Skype helps. Doesn't help with how much I want to hug her though. But, that will be rectified in September. LONDON BAYBEY!
Anyway, as we have a habit of doing, we talked quite late... About 3 I think it was. One of the coolest things was that it didn't actually get really dark in Kiruna; It's getting close to the time of year when they have midnight sun. How can one place be so infinately cool. SUN. AT FRIGGIN MIDNIGHT. Hngggggggg. (that's the sound of me having an aneurism from how cool Sweden is.)
Yesterday was a pretty cool day. Now, first I must add than I'm not a football guy. I generally find it boring, if I ha
ve no connection to it. I have only a vauge interest in the ups and downs of my home team, Norwich City FC. But yesterday was a special occasion, the celebration of our promotion from league 1. We're up and we're going to stay up. But still, I didn't really have a clue what was going on... :P Did I know any chants? Nope. Could I have pointed out any of the players? No chance. (I never felt more nerdfighterish in my life...) But it felt good to get out and be a part of it. It was totally packed. They reckoned that there was about 350,000 people there! I took a couple of pictures to demonstrate the crowdenes
s. It got even more packed after I took these pics! It was mental. But it was a good feeling. But yeah, due to the roads being blocked off for the open top bus tour that the players took, the normal bus service was screwed. Meaning I had to walk home from the city centre. It's about an hour and a half's walk... Yay me! Oh well, at least it's good exercise. :P But I was so knackered last night. I went to bed at just after midnight which is unusual for me... Combined with the late night skyping I had, I was pretty zonked. :P Didn't get up till just gone 9 this morning lol.
I've just realised that I'm smuggling rasins so I think it's time to close my window and warm up a bit, so I will end with this.
"Fear less.
Hope more.
Eat less.
Chew more.
Whine less.
Breathe more.
Talk less.
Say more.
Love more and all good things will be yours."
Swedish proverb (which is only coincidental.)
Ciao
I love the random nights I have on skype with Minna. The laughing, the discussions, the planning. We can't be in the same place, but we almost can. :P I miss her a lot and Skype helps. Doesn't help with how much I want to hug her though. But, that will be rectified in September. LONDON BAYBEY!
Anyway, as we have a habit of doing, we talked quite late... About 3 I think it was. One of the coolest things was that it didn't actually get really dark in Kiruna; It's getting close to the time of year when they have midnight sun. How can one place be so infinately cool. SUN. AT FRIGGIN MIDNIGHT. Hngggggggg. (that's the sound of me having an aneurism from how cool Sweden is.)
Yesterday was a pretty cool day. Now, first I must add than I'm not a football guy. I generally find it boring, if I ha
ve no connection to it. I have only a vauge interest in the ups and downs of my home team, Norwich City FC. But yesterday was a special occasion, the celebration of our promotion from league 1. We're up and we're going to stay up. But still, I didn't really have a clue what was going on... :P Did I know any chants? Nope. Could I have pointed out any of the players? No chance. (I never felt more nerdfighterish in my life...) But it felt good to get out and be a part of it. It was totally packed. They reckoned that there was about 350,000 people there! I took a couple of pictures to demonstrate the crowdenes
s. It got even more packed after I took these pics! It was mental. But it was a good feeling. But yeah, due to the roads being blocked off for the open top bus tour that the players took, the normal bus service was screwed. Meaning I had to walk home from the city centre. It's about an hour and a half's walk... Yay me! Oh well, at least it's good exercise. :P But I was so knackered last night. I went to bed at just after midnight which is unusual for me... Combined with the late night skyping I had, I was pretty zonked. :P Didn't get up till just gone 9 this morning lol.I've just realised that I'm smuggling rasins so I think it's time to close my window and warm up a bit, so I will end with this.
"Fear less.
Hope more.
Eat less.
Chew more.
Whine less.
Breathe more.
Talk less.
Say more.
Love more and all good things will be yours."
Swedish proverb (which is only coincidental.)
Ciao
Tuesday 11 May 2010
Bring it on
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all" - Helen Keller.
I'm looking forward to what's coming, though I don't know what it is. I used to be scared about what was coming, because I can't see ahead. I can't see the future and I can't see the paths ahead, let alone which one I should take. But I was thinking the other day. I crave new and exciting things. I crave adventure. And then it struck me: what's more new and exciting than going into a new day not having a clue what's going to happen? Right now, I have no restrictions - I don't know what I'll be doing each day. I realised something; life is an adventure.
Where am I going? I have no idea. What am I going to do for the rest of my life? No clue.
And that's a huge adventure. I could do anything I want. I could be anything I want. And that no longer scares me. Quite the opposite, it excites me.
*
Now, despite that I am totally full of wanderlust. More needs to be seen and done. I'm getting itchy feet again. I wanna see the world. That being said, I'm more content in Norwich (but only a tiny bit).
I can't wait for summer. I've got camp and that's gonna be great, I can't wait to see all the friends I made there in the past again. I wish I'd started going earlier, I only have another 5 years after this one. It's only just struck me how few I have left; six more. That's next to nothing and I'm really gonna miss it when it's time to stop. I don't want it to stop, it's far too good. But, nonetheless, I can't wait. Good friends, good teaching; I always love the time spent there. A goal this year is to sleep out under the stars. Or at least, to stay out as long as I can. The site's on the coast, away from any big towns. This means very little light pollution - ergo, lots of visible stars. <3>
But Muse... Oh man... I can't adequately describe how excited I am about seeing Muse live. This not only going to be my first time seeing them live, but my first live concert! Starting off with a strong start. ;) Honestly, every time I listen to any of the live Muse tracks I have, my excitement about it grows a little more. It. Will. Be. AMAZING.
End of post. Good night.
I'm looking forward to what's coming, though I don't know what it is. I used to be scared about what was coming, because I can't see ahead. I can't see the future and I can't see the paths ahead, let alone which one I should take. But I was thinking the other day. I crave new and exciting things. I crave adventure. And then it struck me: what's more new and exciting than going into a new day not having a clue what's going to happen? Right now, I have no restrictions - I don't know what I'll be doing each day. I realised something; life is an adventure.
Where am I going? I have no idea. What am I going to do for the rest of my life? No clue.
And that's a huge adventure. I could do anything I want. I could be anything I want. And that no longer scares me. Quite the opposite, it excites me.
*
Now, despite that I am totally full of wanderlust. More needs to be seen and done. I'm getting itchy feet again. I wanna see the world. That being said, I'm more content in Norwich (but only a tiny bit).
I can't wait for summer. I've got camp and that's gonna be great, I can't wait to see all the friends I made there in the past again. I wish I'd started going earlier, I only have another 5 years after this one. It's only just struck me how few I have left; six more. That's next to nothing and I'm really gonna miss it when it's time to stop. I don't want it to stop, it's far too good. But, nonetheless, I can't wait. Good friends, good teaching; I always love the time spent there. A goal this year is to sleep out under the stars. Or at least, to stay out as long as I can. The site's on the coast, away from any big towns. This means very little light pollution - ergo, lots of visible stars. <3>
- Muse
- Minna and (hopefully) some of her friends
But Muse... Oh man... I can't adequately describe how excited I am about seeing Muse live. This not only going to be my first time seeing them live, but my first live concert! Starting off with a strong start. ;) Honestly, every time I listen to any of the live Muse tracks I have, my excitement about it grows a little more. It. Will. Be. AMAZING.
End of post. Good night.
Sunday 9 May 2010
Incredible events
I never thought I'd see this day. It's shocking and fantastic and incedible all at the same time.
My sister tends not to eat a lot in one sitting. She eats enough, just not in one go.
So, imagine my shock and surprise when, at lunch today, she had not only seconds but THIRDS of pudding! D:
I just feel the need to archive this monumentous day.
09/05/2010 - my sister actually ate a reasonable amount in one sitting.
My sister tends not to eat a lot in one sitting. She eats enough, just not in one go.
So, imagine my shock and surprise when, at lunch today, she had not only seconds but THIRDS of pudding! D:
I just feel the need to archive this monumentous day.
09/05/2010 - my sister actually ate a reasonable amount in one sitting.
Saturday 8 May 2010
The Ark - Have You Ever Heard a Song
Have you ever heard a song that you wish would never end?
Did you ever have a conversation with a real good friend
That you wish would just go on and on and on forever more?
Then you know what I'm looking for
Then you know what I'm looking for
Did you ever have a taste in your mouth of something new?
In the beginning it was strange, until suddenly it grew
Into something that you knew you didn't want to live without
Then you know what I'm talking about
Then you know what I'm talking about
Did you ever have a dream, where you actually could fly?
And by some odd lovely reason, didn't ask for reasons why
And you'd wake up feeling strong and glad to meet a brand new day
Then you know what I'm trying to say
Then you know what I'm trying to say
La la la laaa, la la laaaa
La la laaaa, la la laaa, la la
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ah
Well I don't believe in class, and I don't believe in taste
I believe in simple happiness, and I believe in avoiding waste
I believe in endless winter nights with good friends and good wine
I believe in endless summer nights, good friends and feeling fine
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Oooh ooh aah
Ranty vent
There are several things getting on my goat atm and I have decided to blog it out.
Muse. I am such a fantastically huge muse fan, as you well know if you're a reasonably good friend of mine. But what is going on, Muse? No one, but no one wants to see your continued relationship with that awful *cough* "vampire" series. I say vampire, but they're not really vampires, are they... Now, the twilight franchise has attracted a certain brand of fan; Kids around 12-13, that have latched onto the T
wilight franchise. That includes anything that touches it, including the music. Including Muse. Now, I have no issue in people genuinely becoming fans of Muse through Twilight. Neither do I have an issue with people just having the one song from the movie(s) on their iPods because they have the soundtrack. However, the majority of the time that isn't what happens. You get kids being all "OMG, MYOOSE ARE DA GRATEST. I'M LYK DERE BIGGEST FAN!!1one!" You look through their ipod and what songs do they have? Just Super Massive Black Hole... You play them some stuff from Origin of Symmetry and Absolution and this is the general reaction: "OMG, WTF IS DIS SHIT!?!?"
YOU AREN'T A MUSE FAN! YOU'RE A FAN OF THAT ONE SONG BY MUSE!!!!!
This winds me up no end and I am sure it sounds like some old dude moaning about "the youth of today". Bah, I don't care.
Now, to the other extreme; ultra obsessives. This is addressed to a particular individual representing a particular type of muse fan.
Now, I have no doubt that you're a huge Muse fan. I know this, you're one of the biggest I know of. But you're such an arse about it, seriously. Consider yourself bloody lucky. You've seen Muse, what, nearly 20 times now and you're only a couple of years older than me. I'm going to see Muse in September and it will be one of the most amazing days of my life. So I would like to kindly request that you shut your fat face and stop complaing about "how bad the setlist was" or "how crappy the support act was". You had the luck of seeing Muse live during the Absolution era so you got some of the best setlists ever. Some of us weren't so lucky. So stop your whining. You don't like it? Don't go. Let some other kid that's been dying to see Muse for ages and would go absolutely nuts over that "crap setlist." You're ungrateful, and you annoy the heck outta me. Go away.
Here endeth the rant.
Muse. I am such a fantastically huge muse fan, as you well know if you're a reasonably good friend of mine. But what is going on, Muse? No one, but no one wants to see your continued relationship with that awful *cough* "vampire" series. I say vampire, but they're not really vampires, are they... Now, the twilight franchise has attracted a certain brand of fan; Kids around 12-13, that have latched onto the T
wilight franchise. That includes anything that touches it, including the music. Including Muse. Now, I have no issue in people genuinely becoming fans of Muse through Twilight. Neither do I have an issue with people just having the one song from the movie(s) on their iPods because they have the soundtrack. However, the majority of the time that isn't what happens. You get kids being all "OMG, MYOOSE ARE DA GRATEST. I'M LYK DERE BIGGEST FAN!!1one!" You look through their ipod and what songs do they have? Just Super Massive Black Hole... You play them some stuff from Origin of Symmetry and Absolution and this is the general reaction: "OMG, WTF IS DIS SHIT!?!?"YOU AREN'T A MUSE FAN! YOU'RE A FAN OF THAT ONE SONG BY MUSE!!!!!
This winds me up no end and I am sure it sounds like some old dude moaning about "the youth of today". Bah, I don't care.
Now, to the other extreme; ultra obsessives. This is addressed to a particular individual representing a particular type of muse fan.
Now, I have no doubt that you're a huge Muse fan. I know this, you're one of the biggest I know of. But you're such an arse about it, seriously. Consider yourself bloody lucky. You've seen Muse, what, nearly 20 times now and you're only a couple of years older than me. I'm going to see Muse in September and it will be one of the most amazing days of my life. So I would like to kindly request that you shut your fat face and stop complaing about "how bad the setlist was" or "how crappy the support act was". You had the luck of seeing Muse live during the Absolution era so you got some of the best setlists ever. Some of us weren't so lucky. So stop your whining. You don't like it? Don't go. Let some other kid that's been dying to see Muse for ages and would go absolutely nuts over that "crap setlist." You're ungrateful, and you annoy the heck outta me. Go away.
Here endeth the rant.
Thursday 6 May 2010
Chameleon Circuit etc
Behold. The epittomy of geekiness. The debut album by Chameleon Circuit. With it comes a whole new genre of music: trock, or "time lord rock". Yes, an entire cd of songs based on Doctor Who. And it's pretty darn epic, I must say. It actually has some really awesome songs; An Awful Lot of Running, Type 40, Blink, Journey's End, Exterminate Regenerate are legitimately awesome songs, catchy and just fun.So yeah, I was pretty excited when this came through the post this morning. I also got a cool DFTBA Records sticker which is now proudly displayed on my laptop. :P
In other music news, I am slowly becoming a NIN boy. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for NIN, generally because they're good to listen to when I'm angry... I love The Great Destryer, it's a great song to sing along to. And yesterday I downloaded some more NIN. The Slip and Ghosts I-IV.
The Slip was a free download from nin.com and Ghosts I-IV was $5. Five dollars for 36 tracks. Ghosts is a really amazing album; it's all instrumental, but that's just the beginning. There are four "Ghosts", I-IV, and each one is split into 9 parts. It's incredible; despite having no lyrics it's so emotive. Each track is different, and I love it.
As of yet, I haven't heard the Slip. I'm looking forward to it. I have high hopes.
*
This morning I also got a nice wedge of dvds from LOVEFiLM.com (3 in one envelope, which is unusual... but anyway). Soon to be playing: The Goonies, The Blues Brothers and Changeling (but not all at the same time... that would be silly). This is shocking to know, but I've never seen any of these. Ever. It's a poor show on my part, but it is soon to be rectified. The only problem now is, which one first... I'm thinking The Blues Brothers. Classic. Good music. No complaints here.
So yeah, today's been pretty good so far! Got all this good stuff this morning then we had the mum's and toddler's group at church (it's called Little Acorns). That's always good fun, although some of the kids are a bit scared of me X) I guess it's the whole big, beardy guy with glasses image that I have. It could be pretty imposing to small kids... Thing is, the majority of them are girls. :P But then there's Matthew and Chloe; Kerry (their mum) told me about something Matthew said before Mum's n toddlers on Wed.
Kerry: Matthew, who are you going to see at Little Acorns?
Matthew: BEN!
Kerry: Who else?
Matthew: CARRIE!
Kerry: Who else?
Matthew: ABI!
Kerry: Anyone else?
Matthew: BEEN!
Yeah, I have a friend :P (yaaay)
Recently I've been feeling a compulsion that I haven't had for quite some time. Since Malika, my crested gecko, died I have had no urge to get any form or reptile.
Until now. I really would like another reptile. Probably a snake this time... Not a corn snake though. They're kinda boring, really common. But that means they'd be cheap... Hmmm. I don't know. well, anyway, I want a reptile. OOOH! Maybe a Morroccan Uromatyx...
Well, anyway, I feel I have rambled on enough now. I think it's time I got a bowl of soapy water and cleaned out my vacant vivarium.
Ciao
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